Day 5

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Day 5
2
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 7:22am
Good Morning - Thanx Humming , I enjoyed what you wrote . Our situation very differnt

OM ended A . I think what helped you do it was meeting a nice guy and good for you .

For me OM ended it ! Rather harshly . Did not talk about it , did not return my phone calls ETC . I unfortunately have to see him at work occasionally OM is so nonchala about

it . When our job is over and I am alone I cry like a baby and want to call him so badly .

He is the jerk of all jerks and I still like this guy . I think I sort of know why I am

in a VERY UNHAPPY MARRIAGE right now NO way out . ( sexless - loveless ) So, I

am clinging on to OM even though we have NOTHING !!!

It does help me to talk about this . Where else can we go ?? For me anyway .

To all have a great NC - day take care of you hugs .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
In reply to: wordsoflove
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 2:22am
I'm so sorry for your situation words. It's very tough what you're going through. for me the A was healing from my divorce, which was unrelated to the affair. for me, ending the affair just meant I was really ready for a real life and a real relationship. And you're right -- meeting a good guy made it so much easier to get through. But it was my timing & my choice even though it was still hard, it was my doing.

I hope you find your way out though -- with or without the cushion of another relationship. An affair just guarantees you live on a roller coater of emotions and guilt and shame and yes some thrills but the payback is just feeling awful basically all the time. It doesn't solve your marriage problems -- it's just an addiction that seems like away to avoid and soothe the problems. But the addiction causes you more pain and more problems and becomes a really vicious cycle.

I wish you the very best. I wish I had better advice for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: wordsoflove
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 6:38pm

Why is there no way out? Find a way. Make a way. Make either leaving the marriage a goal or work to remedy the marriage. It doesn't work both ways. Make the changes within yourself and go on with life, your life. Not dh's. Not OM's. YOURS.