Day 5 NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2008
Day 5 NC
10
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 3:22pm

Here I am again for the 3rd or maybe even the 4th time trying to end my A. I’m single, he’s MM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 3:48pm

May I welcome you and may we all hopefully help you see that your brighter tomorrows are all in your hands.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 4:09pm

Hey CN ((HUGS!))

I'm almost on the same day as you, day 4. However, the A was more or less ended by xMM (I'm S) on Sunday 'out of the blue', though he didn't really initiate NC since he said 'he'd talk to me whenever I wanted to/could'. I haven't contacted him since he told me that 'He can't do this anymore/doesn't know what else to do'. The A only lasted a bit over 5 months, though was very intense for that time. About 80% of the time it was EA (though, with flirting, innuendo and so forth). Up until mid December we would send close to 20 emails a day (10 each or so) on average, sometimes much more on top of multiple texts, chat, and at least one phone call a day for about 30min-1hr. Saw each other a few times (last time, two weeks ago this Friday, went PA)since we were LD. Though, the holidays were tough and then things 'got busy at work' and contact dropped fairly sharply (to usually a call every second day, an email or two a day, chat ever few days), though still intense and EA-like.
I'm guessing you've not said goodbye formally, just dropped contact? Maybe that's best? Regardless, hugs for you! And, it looks like we are close to being 'NC date' buddies. You're almost done day 5, tomorrow is day 6! I think what has helped me quite a bit is to take it moment at a time. It's hard, and there have been times I'd gotten really overwhelmed and down (when just moments before I was on a big 'up'). It's hard...but, everyone here has been really, really helpful! Because so much of my time 'at the computer' revolved around him (I'd always have my email browser open to see if an email popped up) it's difficult to stay focused while at the computer. So, instead of going straight to email, I come 'here' in the morning/when I'm feeling a bit down. Though, sometimes I find that I can be here 'too much', which makes me think of things and fixate on the ending/A, and I need to think of other things! But, this place does really help.
((hugs!))

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 5:38pm

I like your name on this board...reminds me of the song by U2 "crumbs from your table"

You did the right thing and you will find peace and happiness in the future. If you feel a weak moment and need to reach out to him, come here instead and write what you are feeling. We are here to listen and support you.

I am on day 3 right now. My AP is a MM and I am going through a divorce with my H. I told AP it was over in an email last week and sent him one final birthday card on Monday. The irony is that compared to my H, my AP was really kind and treated me well.

We'll get through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 5:56pm

Welcome back, CNM. As we say around here, never quit quitting, so I'll send you healing vibs that this time will be the last time. Have you visited our Healing Library since you were last here? There's a lot of good stuff there that you should be reading and absorbing. You know, we finally do reach that "Enough is Enough" point, and hopefully this is where you are now. There is even a thread on it either in the HL or under the single section.


5 days is a good start but the real test will come when he contacts you again. What are you doing to protect yourself from this? Have you blocked him yet from your email server and cell phone? It's all up to you, CNM, if you want to be successful this time. We can advise and offer support, but you are the one who has to do the work.


Wishing you strength this time around,

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 6:34pm

I love your name...crumbsnomore!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 7:25pm
....I don't know about anyone else, but 'whole cake' is now my new mantra. It's too true, and it kind of makes me giggle to think of a whole room of people chanting/ommm-ing 'whole cake'. Hey, whatever gets you through the day, right? ;)
----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 7:37pm
I love it too! Great mantra. Whole cake only! If they only want to give "half cake" then find someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2008
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 11:48am

Thank you everyone for your replies to my message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2008
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 1:22pm

Damn, he just sent me a IM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
In reply to: crumbsnomore
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 2:31pm

Hang in there crumbs....this is the hardest part.