Day 5 of the rest of my life
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| Sat, 12-11-2004 - 11:48pm |
I made it through another day at work. At the beginning of the week...I was hiding in my boss' office and crying. Now I am accomplishing SO much. I still cried today...but not as much. People still ask me if I'm ok and I joke that I was dumped but that I should really be thanking him because it really frees up my holidays and gives me all of the time I need to focus on what's REALLY important in my life- work!!
HAHA...they laugh in an unsure fashion as they excuse themselves from the room. At least my sarcastic humor hasn't left me. Sometimes I don't know any other way to deal with this other than to laugh at myself.
I talked to a guy friend of mine- the only one that I told what I was doing from the time the A started. He thinks I was totally played and says he knows because he's done it to women. I hate that he said that...but I keep him as a friend for his player perspective.
I mean it's over...aren't I allowed to believe that he truly loved me? What's the harm in that?
I got 12 hours of NC today since I told him today that I didn't think we should talk. I felt really sad yet good about telling him that. He just TM'd me "goodnight" and without thinking....I TM'd a "ditto" back. I will forgive myself for doing that because at least I didn't say "goodnight lover" or something else pathetic.
Thank you all for listening
