Day 8...And he's not contacting me.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Day 8...And he's not contacting me.....
18
Tue, 11-17-2009 - 4:17pm

I know this sounds bad....but I always read on here about xAP's fishing and contacting, not really letting you go...well, I have to admit I kinda hoped he would. I told him 8 days ago it was too hard for me to continue and we ended very amicably, knowing we cared for each other but it was for the best to end this (after 9 months or so). I also keep

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 10:51am

<>


This is NOT LC this is continuing contact and keeping the A ball in play as a possibility.


I have to ask What Are You Thinking? You've been reading here and you know better.


Go back and read the "Rules for LC" in the Healing Library. Where does it say meet for lunch and "check-in"? Guess I missed that part in the thread.


You're not serious....you are trying to punk us. Right??? Just to see if the vets. read all these post. Right???


Oh and: <> Wow he gave you a choice in the matter. How nice. Time to choose taking back your power and making your own decision. Not just the ones he "says" you can make.


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you cant you are probably right.


A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:00am

Your post 27580.11 is much better and more balanced then your previous post.


I'm glad to hear you are in T. You are being honest on why you are having certain feelings and urges and in the end that will help you know the best approch to not acting on the urges.


I will write more when I get back as I'm heading out.


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you cant you are probably right.


A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:13am

Ya know what is so sad? I read your awesome post and all I can think is, "OK, three weeks, then maybe he'll call. And maybe call again and again, like he did with her!" I am a sad case. Anyway, I thank you so much for your advice and support, it is extremely helpful.


There are very few really decent ones who'd leave you alone once and for all.


I think he really is one of the decent ones who will leave me alone. I fell in love with him because he is truly a decent man. Now I am just hoping he doesn't regret everything and feel incredibly guilty. That always worried me with him, because he is a good guy.


Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:26am
Yes, let's strap ourselves in and 'enjoy' the ride...NOT! This is complete torture, but we can do it. It's been done, we have the wise words of those before us here on this board...thank goodness! Yes, we can get through this together. I know, 10 weeks in I tried to end this, and 6 months later here I am again! But I was just as addicted then, 10 weeks in, as I am now. It won't change. Thanks, and good luck to is both!! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 2:34pm

This is me too!

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 2:48pm

That's a tough one as I never went fishing myself no matter how bad I was hurting. To me open up ways of contact again meant to surrender myself totally to his power, so to speak, and I was determined to get myself out of the impossible situation.

To everyone in pain out there - this too shall pass, I absolutely, 100% guarantee you there will be a day when you will feel so relieved this is over. Yes, you and I may have never mattered to them, they may never loved us, they may never care, but the day will come when all of it simply won't matter anymore. You will think of him and that he didn't choose you, and it won't hurt anymore.

Be patient with yourself. Every single person on this board knows how horrible is the pain of ending. Just have a blind faith that pain will die little by little, and you will live and will be a winner.

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 3:06pm

When they call and generally stay in touch, it only makes it harder. Yes, you will feel that immediate relief and almost ecstasy, feeling validated and knowing that yes, he suffers and misses you too. But the only thing it accomplishes is restarting a cycle again.

Don't look too far ahead right now. I remember feeling of impeding doom when I was thinking that I'll never talk to him again, that he's gone out of my life forever. God knows, I loved this man, I'd do anything for him. I remember that huge emptiness, that heavy feeling in my chest, and that life without him suddenly lost all its colors. For now, just take it day by day. Make a goal to make it through ONE day without making contact. Then tomorrow try to do the same again. And again. Make plans for yourself and try to keep busy - even first days and weeks after break up I was so depressed and upset, I've had no energy for anything - but you really have to push yourself to keep busy - that takes your mind off things and gives you satisfaction of accomplishment.

I'm thinking about you and wishing you strength.

Love,
GbG

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 7:02pm

Hi


I guess while I was responding to your post about LC that you wrote to Roxygirl, you were answering my reply at the exact same time. If you look the posting times they are the same.


Here’s what I want you to see with your words that I’m cutting and pasting.


<

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

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