DDAY!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
DDAY!!!!!!!!!
5
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:01pm

I'm fairly new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: jimmy2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:20pm

I am going to give you a hard dose of reality right now. My D-Day was exactly this way. My H found text messages and IM's between me and my xAP and it DESTROYED him. He called my xAP immediately and told him to stay the F&%$ away from me. I also pleaded with xAP to stay away from me later that day. He didn't. He said he had to know how I was, that he was so worried and on and on.

Our affair went on for another 8 months until a second D-Day- and the second one was much worse. My H discovered my secret email account and it DESTROYED him again. He realized that we'd been living a lie for the past 8 months after I told him that it was over after the first D-Day. I wish will all of my heart that my xAP had listened to my H the first D-Day and stayed away from me. I wish I had been strong enough to walk away that first time too. It would have prevented a lot of pain associated with this.

I am 26 days NC today after the 2nd D-Day and I have to say that I am so happy my xAP has not reached out to me, has not fished, nothing. I could not bear to hear from him. Please, do your AP a favor and WALK AWAY NOW!

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: jimmy2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:21pm

Not sure what to say other then you knew this could happen...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
In reply to: jimmy2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:22pm

Jimmy,
Feel for you but this is not the board for you right now. MAS is where you belong. Come back to us for support if/when you end your affair and want a better life.

Good luck,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
In reply to: jimmy2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 3:28pm

Jimmy,

Many of us have "been there, done that".....and might I add, "feared that". I had a planned d-day and it destroyed 4 adults and 3 children. Affairs are full of ugly lies, deceit and fantasy. You already know that I suspect. They trigger all sorts of abandonment issues and make you feel (when you are ending) that you are going to never make it.

This is the fork in the road. Decide what YOU want to do. Take a good hard look at what you have in your own LIFE. What do you stand to lose.

We are here for you for support when you decide to END it all. Gaining back integrity and self-respect feel really good. I didn't think I could *ever* say that. My AP was my "soulmate, my world, my everything" for 2 solid years.

It was a lie. It was quicksand and mirrors.

Let us know what your choice is.....

((hugs))
LL

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: jimmy2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 4:42pm

Hi Jimmy,


Feel free to come over to the After the Affair board as well, here's a link:


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlpostaffair/


Everyone there is post-affair,