dead presidents

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
dead presidents
15
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 9:06pm

hi all,

its almost the weekend and im home already, i hate being home and alone, it only been 2 weeks since OW ended it but still im having a hard time processing allof this

im nauseated and have a headache, i feel like doing nothing, i know i have to get out of the house in the next 3 days or else ill go nuts

ill be posting here , its my only way to cope for now, i cant even eat, i tried to cook but after i cook i cant eat, what a life, i have to admit that this is not going so good for me, i am not doing anything for myself, i let myself go downhill , i cant seem to control my emotions

i wish i can talk to the TV set

:(
max

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 10:30pm

Oh Max. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I wish I could say or do something to make it go away or at least make it easier. Why don't you think of just one thing that you can plan to do this weekend - whether by yourself or with a friend or family member - and stick to it, even if all you really want to do is crawl under the covers. That way at the end of the weekend you can look back and feel that you accomplished something. As far as eating goes, you have to eat b/c otherwise you'll feel worse than you do already. Even if it means shoving down your thought. And there's always ice cream, right :)

I know I'm no fountain of wisdom - but I will be online for the next hour or two. If you need to talk, please post & I'll respond.

Hugs, Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 11:04pm

Max

Get out of that house, go to a club do anything but site there talking to the TV.

Consider joining a gym and working you butt off 4 to 6 times a week, it will help you emotionaly to work out.

The last thing you want to do is to site around a dwell on your Woes it only makes them seem worse... TRUST ME I used to be very good at it, but it never helped me on little bit.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 11:56pm

Max-

My dear...you are very much the exception to the rule..or one of few men who have given pain/heart-break..a voice.

My heart goes out to you. I know you will get through this- whether you believe it or not. It's not something that will happen overnight. The pain of missing her will slowly become less and less bearable. It will. I have a long journey ahead of me, but look forward to the day I can fully appreciate all that I have been granted through GOD.

Be strong. Do anything and everything to keep you busy!!!!!!!!

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 11:57pm
I meant less and less agonizing. Sorry! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 11:59pm

hi blue/free,

i got some concrete plan for the next 3 days

just making myself do it is the hard part, i have a question to ask everyone here

- why cant i seem to do anything when i know exactly what to do, when i wake up in the morning, i eat breakfast and i know what i will do after eating breakfast, and then i will sit in the couch and i will fall back into being sad and not wanting to do anything, i could not even get to get myself to go to church on Sunday, i have a friend who was willing to pick me up but i declined and made excuses to him so he wont pick me up and not go to church

so why cant i do any phycical activity at all, i find it very hard even to go to the grocery stone and shop for food, its basic human need and i feel like i cant do it

do any of u gals/guys have experience this kind of behavior
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 12:15am

hi sunshine,

i actually surprised myself, i thought i can get over her if it did not work out right but i was wrong, im devastated now, i used to be in the military and none of those training mean nothing now, being shot at is nothing compared to what i am feeling right now

the nite is still young and i cant sleep, ill be hanging here for a couple more hours

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 4:22am

still awake, i have taken some tylenol pm and waiting to fall asleep, am i crazy, i still think of her, i was reading something about fear and rejection, i think this is what i am feeling now

fear of being alone and rejection, the more i read to cope the more i get depress .... lol

its about 1:20 am here

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 9:57am

Good Morning Max,

I hope you were finally able to get some sleep.

In answer to your question, I have definitely experienced some of that inability to do what I know I've got to do - particularly early on. My best advice is to force yourself to get back to doing the normal stuff (church, grocery shopping, whatever) and eventually it won't feel so forced. Kinda like how if you tell yourself to put a smile on your face and keep reminding yourself to do it, all of a sudden you're smiling for real. Maybe that sounds stupid - but it works for me!!

I'm glad you have plans for this weekend - stick to them!! And when you're doing them, concentrate on them and don't let OW interfere.

The first few weeks are the absolute hardest, but if you can make it past them it'll get easier!!

Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 11:29am

hi blue,

just woke up, im so tired , did not fall asleep till like 3 am, just anxious

ill try to get out today although its raining again, very unsettled weather here in northern california

take care,
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 11:40am

Hey Max,

Anxious is the worst. Remember that today is a new day and it's going to be a better day than yesterday, each day will get incrementally better, it just takes time. Go out, even for just a bit, the change of scenary from your place will do you good.

Here on the East Coast it's sunny and beautiful, but chilly. Sending you sunshine & hope!!

:) Blue

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