Dear Xmm...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Dear Xmm...
5
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 10:06pm
I just want to tell you what a disappointment you turned out to be. At the very least I thought you cared enough about me as a person to treat me better than you did in the end after your W finding out. You are the one who said you loved me and wanted to leave her to be with me. She finds out and suddenly you treat me like I never happened - like you never cared and with no respect. You owe me an apology. You played with my emotions. You begged me not to abondon you or leave you or stop being your friend when she found out and you turn around and do just that to me! I fell in love with you, just as I thought you fell in love with me. You are the first man I fell in love with and the first man to break my heart. Why, why did you keep pursuing me for months after I said no and just wanted to keep it as friends? Why did I let you convince me that you were in love with me and wanted to be with me and had never been this happy before? Why did I let myself fall in love with you? I relaize you are not who I thought you were. The person I know, would of never treated me like this, the person I know would of treated me the same he had for the past year and talked to me and told me like a man that he decided to try and work on his marriage. Not hide and run away. A real man would not stay in such an unhappy marriage so stop telling your friends how unhappy you are, stop saying you just stayed for the kids, I do not feel bad for you. You are pathetic. If you had any Bal*s you would do what it takes to leave your "bad" situation, but my guess is that it is not so bad, you are just pathetic. You will never treat me like this again and from what I learned from this experience - no one will ever treat me like that again. You missed out - have a nice life. Mine will be grand, without a moment more wasted on you.

Lyssa
Avatar for stre2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lyssa30
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 11:31pm
Hey Lyssa.... Even though revenge isn't the most perfect word to use in this case.... They do say that the best revenge IS a happy life! I'm very happy to see that you are on the journey to happiness!

We *have* learned and knowledge is power! Good for you and I know your life will be a grand one because once we take our power back... the sky is the limit!

Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lyssa30
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 7:31am
Beautiful, Lyssa... and I bet it felt GREAT to write that.

When I first found out about my XMM's new girlfriend (because I had to watch them together and it made me literally nauseous and I had to run out of the room before the tears came so he wouldn't see it), I wrote a letter to him. I can't print it here because the language is NOT ladylike ;-)

I told him what a jerk he is, I told him how much I cared about him, bu that he'll just f*** anything he can pin down, that he had NO idea what an incredible woman I am because he never bothered to find out, and that is HIS loss.... it was a long letter, and it was so cathartic to say it all, even though I never gave it to him.

Thanks for posting your letter - you are healing... and it's wonderful to see.

Glinda

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lyssa30
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 11:55am
Great letter, Lyssa. Is this the letter that you were working on during your first few weeks of NC. I remember that your therapist recommended that. Didn't she? She said you should write every day until you had gotten everything out. I always thought that was really good advice.

I really admire you for sticking with NC. I'm back in the saddle again, even if I am a little bruised. It's good to be back to NC. I'm still waiting to hear from him, but I know this too shall pass.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: lyssa30
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 2:24pm
Good for you Lyssa! I'm glad you are moving on & doing so well :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lyssa30
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 3:13pm
THANKS EVERYONE - Just trying to get some of this out. This is just a letter that came spur of the moment out of me last night. I have others I have been writing and revising as my feelings change for the past two months. I really can see how I have grown through them and how my feelings have moved from such deep hurt, to anger to some acceptance but not to total forgiveness. (maybe I will post one at some other point) I don't think there are some things I will totally forgive but I can probably forgive him in general. We will see where this path takes me.

Thanks for listening.

Lyssa