Decided to start IC

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Decided to start IC
3
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 10:22am
Ladies,

I finally brok down today and decided to schedule IC. The biggest change about me is that I have become really angry and uncaring these past weeks.. Working on over 2 months NC from XMM..

Found out a few weeks back that H had an EA with a mutual friend of ours (his 2nd one) who lives in another state.. So when I decided that I was ready for NC from XMM and ready to work on marriage I found this out.. He said that he did not choose to have an A "again" that it just happened.. That is one thing that I admitted up front that it was my choice.. Not sure how to handle things right now I have been trying to hold things together for the kids.. It is so hard to get the trust back into a marriage when it has been broken both ways.. I want to try IC first and then maybe move onto going with him. Yikes im a mess today..

Lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 11:25am
Dear Lost: I'm a firm believer in IC for everyone. I think we ALL have issues leftover from childhood that we could address or events, trauma, etc., that we should work thru. No one goes thru life unscathed. I applaud your decision and hope you develop a good relationship with the T. This could be the beginning of big and exciting changes in your outlook on life. As for your marriage, hang in there, honey. If you want to rebuild its possible as long as your H wants to rebuild also. My H and I both had EMAs simultaneously and have been able to salvage a pretty stable relationship. Anyway, best of luck to you! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 11:45am
Lost,

I just wanted to wish you luck. I started counseling a couple of weeks ago, and it has already helped. Down the road might do marriage counseling with H, but I need this for me now.

I'm here for you whenever you need! :)

((((LOST)))))

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 6:49pm
Lost

I is hard but it can be done if both parties want it badly enough to do what it takes.

Did your husband have his second EA during your affair, if so it could have resulted from him lacking having his EMOTIONAL NEEDS MET, I am not justifying it just trying to point out there may be midigating facts to consider.

Your husband should do a little IC as well before MC is started.

JMNSHO

Free