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Desperate for advice
| Fri, 01-28-2005 - 1:06pm |
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Edited 1/28/2005 1:20 pm ET ET by littlesoul2
Edited 2/8/2005 9:34 am ET ET by littlesoul2
Edited 1/28/2005 1:20 pm ET ET by littlesoul2
Edited 2/8/2005 9:34 am ET ET by littlesoul2

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Can you believe I will be in NYC tomorrow? But it is for my friend's shower and bachelorette. Ugh, I have to pretend I am all excited about her getting married when all I want to say is are you SURE? It's for the rest of your life, you know? Of course I would never say that - I'll just have to put on my happy face :-)
Not sure what the ettiquette is here (do I need to start a new topic?) But I have this recurring thought in my head. Sometimes I worry that I am shallow. Am I really leaving my husband because I am not attracted to him? If so, isn't that horrible!!? I know it's not the only reason (as I have said on this board - no need to rehash it)but it really really bothers me. Do any of you feel that way?
That's funny! We are all becoming bitter to the institution of marriage! I think it's just the whole stages of the healing process! Sadness, Anger, Bitterness, complete delirium?
Yes, I think I am the most shallow gal in the world. Especially lately, last night my H brought me flowers, and then when I went to go work out he vacuumed and did dishes! You cannot imagine my amazement. I didn't know that he knew how the 'floor cleaner thingy' worked! Holy hell!!! I was shocked, am still shocked. But I still have these same feelings and concerns about me and what I want and all of that. And you just can't help growing into a new woman and having new ideas about who you want and who you want to be.
So I guess I get the golden tiara for 'Miss. ME ME ME 2005!'
~nutt
namaste writes: <<<>>>
I have to disagree with this one statement. He is not putting her through this situation...he is stating his boundaries. Many times its the female wanting to know "are you leaving?". I find it refreshing that a single man knows himself and this kind of situation enough to question it. He is not young either. He may want to be in an above board relationship. Nothing wrong with that (remember? LOL).
With that said, I totally agree with the rest of Namaste's advice about "taking care of yourself first". To me that is translated to "know yourself and your motivations for why you do what you do or want what you want". If more people would do this instead of being impulsive...it would save alot of greif for everyone. That is H, OM AND US/YOU.
...from a 39yr old single childless female. (I know that clock thing...Ive decided not to worry about it so much...I cannot change time...but just be more MINDFUL of it than I have been for the last 10 years and was not pro active enough on making myself the right person for the right person like I should...weight problems, not socializing enough, letting overcoming the grief and survival be my only focus etc)
I don't want a baby in the wrong situation. I have come to grips that I may not have one. Its been hard enough just taking care of myself. I am ok and I have to be proud of the fact that I've not taken too many risks or hurt anyone else just to do the status quo. I find comfort in that. So many people are parents...but they are not always good parents or have a mentally healthy home. Meaning: some people are parents and get elevated to a certain "normal" status. I love kids so much I guess that I wouldn't want to have kids unless I was in a really good healthy relationship. (Nuff said on that)
Good luck and wisdom, good timing and no real regrets to all, ::Hugs::
Lizzie
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