Dharma & Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2004
Dharma & Clarice
4
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 6:12pm
Dharma & Clarice

I was having the worst day today. I was feeling so alone and thinking of XMM. May was a special month for us during our almost 7 yrs. I just could not shake this sad feeling all day. I came here and read your posts and I want to thank you both for making my day a little brighter. I try hard everyday to get stronger and it still hurts. I am a mess basically. I wish I could find the strength to post how I feel without crying or getting sick to my stomach. But the both of you give me reason to beleive that I too will have the strength to post here and help someone else. You both are amazing. Thanks so much.

Love

Lexy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 6:22pm
lexy: i am so sorry. Hang in there. it's a process you can't get around--only one that you have to get thru. Give yourself this day to feel sad, remember good and bad times, mourn the loss of this important person in your life. let your mind go whever it needs to: don't force it; don't rush it--just go with it. and pamper yourself tonight that you, somehow, made it thru this day. we all must acknowledge our growth steps--no matter how big or small. just getting thru today--and the month of May--will be important for you.

I have had so many bad days i can't even count them. i feel for you, if that is where you are today.

Seven years is a long time. I cannot imagine having to say goodbye after seven years.

Thinking of you.

xoxo

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:49pm
lexy~

ever hear the saying "faking it 'til you make it"? Well, I AM the prime example of it. I'm glad I could provide someone some words to get them through the day. I know there have been days where I thought I would not make it through...but yet, here I am. That severe pain that you feel, will eventuallly give way to a dull ache, which eventually will dissipate with time. BUT, I feel that one must be actively working on it and constantly doing an inner inventory to figure it all out.

You WILL make it through this...I promise. If you have to cry...then cry and be ok with it. It hurts, honey, gosh does it hurt. And we get it. Me and clarice...we are just a few steps ahead...and trying to still figure out this stuff and make sense of it. I had 2.5 years of on again, off again with exMM...most of time it was in MY HEAD...but you had 7 years...holy cow! that's a long time for ANY relationship...and one that was kept on the down low most of the time.

You have much grieving to do....come and post often (hell, if clarice can fill up the board in an hour, your surely entitled to a few posts....BAH, HA, HA....love ya' clarice---sorry for the slam)

major hugs...hope you are feeling better!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 1:01pm
You know, when I read about the stuff the Clarice is going thru in her marriage, the stuff that Dharma has accomplished despite the crap she's dealing with in her marriage, the addictions that momesq is conquering, etc., etc., I feel like such a WIMP. And a whiner. I really have no right to complain about my situation!! I'm just struggling to get over a relationship I never should have let happen... What's the big deal??

You guys are great. Thanks for all the insight you offer here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 1:12pm
The key is to identify the feelings, don't compare the events (another thing I've learned in recovery). We all have various trials and tribulations to face in life and the lesson is in HOW we face them, not how difficult they are to face.

Truth be told, the greatest challenge I face in life is not recovery from active addiction. My son has some very significant health issues and this has, by far, been my greatest heartbreak in life. He suffers from the same incurable disease from which my youngest son died. Now THAT - that really bites. Nothing else will ever compare.

It's all part of the journey... Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10