Did my T put bad thoughts out to the universe??
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Did my T put bad thoughts out to the universe??
| Thu, 11-18-2010 - 8:54pm |
I'm wondering if my being mad is slightly irrational based on how I'm feeling.

Cait, I don't think he put bad thoughts out into the universe.....i think he was trying to make you stop and think at what you were about to do in terms of lying about your whereabouts to your H.
i don't think your Dad getting sick was at all related to what he said.
However, you might want to talk over your feelings with him (T) about what he saidythat weekend, and how you felt about it when your Dad got sick!
I often worried when I was in the affair and took off for a weekend with xap that something terrible would happen. I don't belive your T put negative thoughts out in the universe, it's a valid point that something can happen at any time, and if we are somewhere where we shouldn't be if something were to happen it would be a terrible additional guilty feeling we would need to deal with. If what your T said is holding you back maybe you can bring up what he said and work through why that statement is lingering for you? Loss is difficult to work through, things that are said to us in times of grief can take on meanings that were never intended. It's important to bring up what is bothering us at the time so that it doesn't steer us in the wrong direction. Hugs to you cait:)
I'm sorry, but I don't follow your logic. I absolutely think your Therapist was being genuine in hoping that nothing happened while you were off on some romp with your xAP - could you have lived with yourself?
While we were off doing whatever it is we do in affairland, a REAL LIFE was going on ... a life that at any moment could have changed - badly.
What if you couldn't have been reached? What it you came home to realize that someone you loved needed you and couldn't reach you, or something happened even worse - your H in a fatal car accident? what if? ... all while you are off on some vacation with AP? I couldn't live with myself - the guilt I deal with now is bad enough, the missing of the volleyball games, the homework I wasn't present to help with etc ... I simply couldn't imagine how it would have felt to have been away with xAP while someone at home needed me.
Actually, hey ... that is bad enough. BAD ENOUGH that our families thought we were away doing something legitimate.
Cait, stick with this therapist. Share this irrational association. I think you're transferring your guilty feelings about your choices onto your therapist. Your grief Cait is complicated ... and it's all getting mixed up.
Please know that we are here for you. Keep posting. Remember, We've all been there, done that so there isn't judgment - just concern.
TU.
Hi Cait,
I have to agree with eveeyone else.
Oh dear lovey Cait -
My heart goes out to you.