Did not answer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Did not answer
5
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 7:31pm

Well I ended up talking to xmm at work today. I was alone in my office and he was where a group of people could hear him. He remarked on how happy and carefree I sounded and I told him I am not going to be unhappy forever. I told him, "I think you like to see me unhappy," which he denied. I knew it killed him that he could not say what he wanted. So he called me on his way home from work. I did not answer but I am having a panic attack over it. I feel so guilty, I used to get mad if he did not call back. I don't know why I would let it get to me. Just wanted to share so I didn't pick up the phone and call him back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: jstmekc
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 7:57pm

JMK

First Congrats on doing the right thing not calling him back.

Guilty about what not taking this cheating married mans bait, guilty about acting in a manor that shows some self-respect for yourself, keep the gullt for when you do wrong not for when you do right like you did today.

You earned the right to feel good about you by refusing to play his childish games.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
In reply to: jstmekc
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 8:13pm
Thanks Free just needed a little support. I don't know when I started feeling like I owe this guy anything. I have done nothing but help him. I helped him promote in his career plus gave him his cake with extra frosting, at the expense of my family and marriage. I guess somewhere inside I keep trying to think he really was worth this and is a good person whose feelings are just as confused and legit as mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: jstmekc
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 9:08pm

J

I does not matter if he is a good guy or a bad guy HE IS BAD FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY and that alone is reason enought to refuse contact with him.

It sounds like the guilt may have more to do with justifying yourself then it has to do with him....if he is not so bad then maybe your not so bad !!!

The best course in my opinion to take is to accept that YOU screwed up in about as big away that a married woman can and nothing will change that, WHATS DONE IS DONE focus on creating a better future for your family and his by having nothing more to do with him, time to end the childish emotional games and be the responsable adult you are in every other way.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
In reply to: jstmekc
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 10:03pm

J,

he is playing u for sure, trying to get u back again, such childish comments, if he realy repects u then he should be happy that u are happy

dont answer his calls, dont call him back, i know it will be hard in the beginning but u will better in the end

take care and be busy with other things, not him,

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2005
In reply to: jstmekc
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 6:24pm

Congratulations on staying strong! Keep up the good work. My exMM phoned and emailed me more in the week after I told him I needed to end things, than he did the entire month before. The month before I ended it, I received one phone call, and the "I was busy" excuse. When I ended things, the phoned five times and left countless voice mails. Manipulation, pure and simple.

Keep yourself busy, avoid him whenever possible, your ignoring his calls lets him know you have more self-respect than he realizes.