Did not survive the first fishing attempt

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Did not survive the first fishing attempt
7
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 10:41am

In the past xAP occasionally did bikram with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 11:11am

Sunrise...be strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 11:13am

Sunrise..Be strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 11:40am

Hey There,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 12:11pm

SR,

You did not break NC so much as

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 12:12pm
Sunrise,

I am going to really challenge you to look at YOUR motivations for CHOOSING to engage in the breaking of NC.

Indeed you have learned some valuable things, BUT REALLY, what NEW was learned? Nothing. These lessons we teach on this board.

You already knew that he did not love you in a healthy way. NO ONE in an affair is loving anyone in a healthy way.

YOU did not love him in a healthy way.

You also engaged in the toxic dialogue, but throwing things like: How are you and your wife doing?" Communication is a two way street, and each moment you stood there was a moment to make a different choice. To walk away.

You didn't hear what you wanted. You didn't hear supportive things? What did you expect? What if he had said whatever you dreamed he would say? What then? Where would that have gotten you? No where. See engaging at all is NEVER productive, and never brings closure. Contact rips open the old wounds and creates newer ones in their place.

You didn't "just listen" Sunshine (I engaged in a brief conversation with him).

You turned around, and in that moment prioritized the thoughts/feelings & concerns of your XAP over yourself and your family.

Yup - really foggy thinking. Yes, you find another class, you quit or you stick to NC. Whatever you need to do, you do. This is YOUR LIFE, please protect it.

So now, what lessons DID you learn ... ABOUT YOURSELF?

I am looking forward to reading more from you, and never forget, I have been where you are, and I know how hard it is to "just" walk away.

With care,

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 12:35pm

Wow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 5:08pm

Sunrise, I understand that feeling of "wanting to make it better", of needing him to believe that you are a person of integrity. And what I have come to realise is that this is not a short term game anymore. There is NOTHING I can say or do