A different perspective maybe.....
Find a Conversation
A different perspective maybe.....
| Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:45am |
I keep hearing that 95% of the MM never leaves his wife. That only 5% of relationships starting in an affair actually make it. Well, my question is what did that 5% do to actually make it work? I am trying desparately to end my 3 year affair, but what if he and I are in that 5% that worked out? What if I am giving up on the most wonderous passionate all consuming relationship/love that will last for the next 50 years????

Pages
hi kelly
this is my biggest fear of all.
what if.
The situation you describe is pretty straightforward, in my opinion. The crux of the problem comes down to the kids. Now I don't have kids, but I do know one thing about raising kids and that's that they need stability and structure. Your dad either lives with your mom or he doesn't. Kids can learn to deal with situations, even painful ones, if they can make sense of them. Right now everything is up in air and unknown. That's hell for kids. I hated that kind of confusion when I was a kid.
You have to make a decision. Are you going to be with this guy or not? If his wife doesn't love him/he doesn't love her and he loves you/you love him, then he should get a divorce, work out custody, and marry you. I don't see the problem here. You're both adults and know that there isn't a perfect solution. Everybody is going to be hurt by this situation in some way. So find the best solution, go through with it, reconcile yourself with whatever decision you make, and get on with living in an intelligent manner. Just my .02 cents. skippxt
Skip
Edited 1/17/2005 10:34 pm ET ET by skip_mcgillicuddy
just some thing to think about,
kat
Hi princess E,
Good for you. You need stability and structure, too. One way or another, you need an answer from your MM regarding this situation. Every so often something comes up where I have to make a hard decision in order to preserve my sanity. I think that's about where you're at now. Whether you should break it off with your guy or not is a decision you have to make based on what is realistic. Remember, one day the pain and grief will all be behind you if you make a firm decision. skippxt
All the best,
Skip
Pages