Distract yourself
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Distract yourself
| Sun, 04-17-2005 - 5:27pm |
To those having a hard time.. Distract yourself. Make a food you've never made. Eat at a restaurant you love or haven't tried. Take a walk and be glad for the blue skies and sunshine (if you're having it!), rent a movie you want to see and make popcorn. Paint a picture. Go shopping and spend money. If you don't have money to spend, go to a dollar store and see what things they have there that you actually would like or use! (A new coffee mug, or some silly candy you've never tried) Take a bubble bath and eat chocolate. Drink coffee and write in a journal. Make an online blog for your rantings and ravings. Make a list of all the things you liked at the age of 12 that you still like now. Get your nails done. Do your own nails. Go to a book store and spend a few hours looking. Reread a book you loved from childhood. Get a new computer program for card making or something fun. Work out. Email all your friends and family and ask how they are. Call someone you've not spoken to in awhile (a friend or family member-not a ema person!)
Buy yourself some flowers and put them in a vase. Plant flowers. Redo a garden. Fill your heart and soul with things you love to do.
Buy yourself some flowers and put them in a vase. Plant flowers. Redo a garden. Fill your heart and soul with things you love to do.

Lea:
All those are great idea. (you are such a giving person..i can feel it).
The only one i would suggest to do with caution is writing a journal or blog online if one happens to be married. (i am not) Not good to leave that stuff around for someone to see it.
Perhaps the chocolate is the other cautionary item. Too much sugar makes me nearly suicidal. LOL but thats me and my blood sugar issues =)
Just wanted to reach out and give a cyber hug to a good person :::::::::Hugs to Lea::::
Lizzie
Hugging you right back Lizzie! Oh the blog thing--I meant a blog that has no viewers but you. On some types, you can make them non public, and no one can see them but you. I wouldn't suggest having one that someone could read and figure out who you were etc!
I had one that I used that was private, and even then, I didn't use names. Just feelings and thoughts about the "situation"..but it helped me. And I am a chocoholic at times lol so thats why I added the chocolate part!! LOL
Thanks so much for the hug! I guess I try to hope that others will not let someone make them miserable. I used to do that years ago--(College boys) and at some point I realized that no one person would be allowed THAT much control over my emotional well being..not that I haven't felt hurt or cried over EX-MM in the past..I have.. but then I push myself to brush myself off and see the good that lies in the day to day..We are all looking for someone to love us and love back..and yet..if we love ourselves and take good care of ourselves..no one can take that from us..
Hugs and have a good week!
Thanks, those are all really good ideas. Some of them are my favorite activities. I've been a bookworm my whole life and love to have ANY opportunity to read or go to a book store. I knew my thinking HAD to be really messed up when even the idea of it left me feeling blah. I can't concentrate or focus on anything. That is so NOT me, honest.
I love to walk too and I KNOW walking is good for the blues. However, I've got an injury that prevents it for several more weeks at least. As for cooking a new dish, I literally can't stand the sight of food. It feels like it sticks in my throat.
Didn't really feel like talking to anyone either since I feared I'd be such lousy company. However, I decided to call a old friend who I love dearly. The good thing about her in this situation is that she's very long-winded, and I knew I'd be off the hook on having to say much. Plus, I really did want to find out how she was. That worked out fine. We talked (I listened) for an hour and it was good for BOTH of us, I think. Made some time pass and gave me someone else to think about for awhile,(rather than OM.) So thanks! That was a good idea for me.
Your other ideas were good too. I always love to shop. Never too down for that! Lol... Couldn't though because my car is in the shop. So, I've spent the rest of the time doing household chores. Dh has been preoccupied with his hammers and tools. (Heaven for him would be LIVING in Sears tool department!) He's really a good guy. I'm so lucky to have him and I owe him a lot...
Got to roll my sleeves up and get going on my life. Thanks again for your caring concern for all of us who are stuck. It's sure a mess...
Michele
I know it's hard. I'm glad you called a friend. You say your husband is a good guy and you're lucky to have him. Another thing that might help a little, is maybe planning something you and your hubby can do together? I think too when we're parents, there is so little time for hubby's and wives it seems, that we end up feeling tired and disconnected. Sometimes I think that's why some of us actually got into an EMA.. there was someone who we didn't have to talk bills, housework and kids with. We could just be the person we are without all that other stuff.. and i guess we have to work harder at making ourselves spend time with the spouse, in situations/or settings that let us connect again. I know I'm trying to do that more often with Dh.. he's always been here to give me time and attention..and I just needed to let it in.. I know when MM was in my life I didn't let it in as much. Makes me mad that I wasted all that time..sigh.
hey michelle,
Lea is right, concentrate on hubby, at least u have someone to focus yourself, it seems harder for a single person but i know the pain is the same
lea, im so glad u have moved on, i deleted OW email also, i have 2 email accounts that me and her used, i deleted the other one already and all her emails there, i still cannot get myself to delete the other email
im off to yoga
max
Thanks again, Lea & Max. Your kind words are very appreciated! I'm sure you're right too about the appeal of the relationship with OM because it had NO real life problems to it. No bills, children, or laundry. Just conversation about things that interested both of us. He seemed to actually care about what I thought.
On the other hand, Dh has heard it all before. (We've been together a LONG time!) Already knows what I'm going to say before I do! So all of our conversations have a "rerun" quality to them. He never was much of a talker anyway. Talking about our children (who are grown) is about the only topic that will pull him away from the TV (or his tools!) He has always said that women's conversation makes him want to run for the hills! Since I have never been able to tolerate TV at all, we share very few leisure-time interests.
This has been the status-quo for so long I don't think I could ever get dh to change. My challenge then will be learning to accept dh as he is without feeling the need to fill the void with OM. I have to find another way to cope. And I will.
I DO have lots of other interests of my own. After I get out of this slump, I'm looking forward to getting back into my hobbies and projects. I usually have several going at once. Normally, I'm never bored! It will just take time to get over OM and get myself back on track. I'll get there. Deep in my heart I really can't wait to call my life my very own again! Thanks again for your thoughtfulness and concern...
Michele