Good grief, Renew. Here we are always putting up warnings about alcohol and you go the Ambien route. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Okay, what you did was not funny and very damaging, but guess we'll have to put up stronger warnings around here about WHAT NOT to put in our mouths. Here's my question, though, and I hope you have a good answer.
Why can you still see him on your computer? Why are you still enabled to IM him? If you went out of your way to add him back then what you did was "intentional self sabotage." You should feel pretty dang lousy right now....part of the fallout for being reckless and not thinking before you act.
Start you NC counter all over again, and think long and hard as to why you would hurt yourself like this. And what if he had responded? I hope you have him blocked again just in case he gets the itch now to mess with you now. It wouldn't prove a thing other than he thinks you need the attention.
I'm not sure what Ambien is....but, I suppose since it's a drug it can do weird and 'altering' things to us. Which, of course, means - make sure you're away from any sort of communication device! Since ending I've barely had more than a glass of wine, save for this past Friday where I had a few drinks with some friends after an evening out in the bush. But, my cell was safely away and I was in a room full of people - so, it wasn't something I was too worried about (breaking NC that is). It is good for us to 'know ourselves' and our limits, however. Are there other ways that you can help yourself get to sleep? Some sort of tea, meditation or even melatonin (sp? It's the stuff some folks use to help with jet-lag)?
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
That's why I thought If I was short and sweet - I wouldnt ADD to that beating up on you. ;)
I really BELIEVE though Renewal, just let the being mad at yourself go. It's ONLY living in the past even if it was just last night. It can keep you stuck and now trying ANOTHER action ...or waiting to see if
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
Yes - get up! Reflect on why you tripped, tie those shoe laces and start jogging again!
Beating yourself up is self-harming and in its own way, reflects that stinky mindset we developed in our affairs. We get really good at telling ourselves that we aren't doing/saying something right, "or else" xAP would do/say/be .... towards us.
However ... remember the past to inform the present, the present to inform us that the past is in the past, and the future remains yours to write.
I saw this the other day "the best predictor of your future is the one you create"
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
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Good grief, Renew. Here we are always putting up warnings about alcohol and you go the Ambien route. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Okay, what you did was not funny and very damaging, but guess we'll have to put up stronger warnings around here about WHAT NOT to put in our mouths. Here's my question, though, and I hope you have a good answer.
Why can you still see him on your computer? Why are you still enabled to IM him? If you went out of your way to add him back then what you did was "intentional self sabotage." You should feel pretty dang lousy right now....part of the fallout for being reckless and not thinking before you act.
Start you NC counter all over again, and think long and hard as to why you would hurt yourself like this. And what if he had responded? I hope you have him blocked again just in case he gets the itch now to mess with you now. It wouldn't prove a thing other than he thinks you need the attention.
oh jeez......
ambien does all kinds of crazy things to people renewal4me
I'm not sure what Ambien is....but, I suppose since it's a drug it can do weird and 'altering' things to us. Which, of course, means - make sure you're away from any sort of communication device! Since ending I've barely had more than a glass of wine, save for this past Friday where I had a few drinks with some friends after an evening out in the bush. But, my cell was safely away and I was in a room full of people - so, it wasn't something I was too worried about (breaking NC that is). It is good for us to 'know ourselves' and our limits, however. Are there other ways that you can help yourself get to sleep? Some sort of tea, meditation or even melatonin (sp? It's the stuff some folks use to help with jet-lag)?
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Iddy! Everyone! I didnt see him online.
Renewal,
Beating up on yourself will keep you stuck
1. Get Real / Stay Real about YOU: your actions, your feelings, your thoughts, your words
thanks Michelle!
((((RENEWAL)))))
I know you are!!
That's why I thought If I was short and sweet - I wouldnt ADD to that beating up on you. ;)
I really BELIEVE though Renewal, just let the being mad at yourself go. It's ONLY living in the past even if it was just last night. It can keep you stuck and now trying ANOTHER action ...or waiting to see if
Beating yourself up is self-harming and in its own way, reflects that stinky mindset we developed in our affairs. We get really good at telling ourselves that we aren't doing/saying something right, "or else" xAP would do/say/be .... towards us.
However ... remember the past to inform the present, the present to inform us that the past is in the past, and the future remains yours to write.
I saw this the other day "the best predictor of your future is the one you create"
or something like that!
Tu.
Good Lord.
Bahaha! Good one Dee ;)
Y'know, for the longest time Gmail had this thing where after a
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Pages