d/l

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
d/l
10
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 11:17pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:32am

Those are some pretty thought provoking questions R4M.

I want to speak to my personal answers to these & maybe someone will relate?

1) My hole came from feeling that I needed to be or do something to be loved. It comes from my childhood. In all of my adult life - I've gotten pretty close to diggin myself and being on my own - but the "dangling" carrot was ALWAYS a man's love. I could be as happy as I could on my own and feel great about myself- but once a man entered the picture - that was the "golden ticket". As if I'd have something MORE by having a man love me. My mom was a narcissist - so as long as I made her look good...I received "strokes". So the more unavailable a guy is (especially narcissistic like my mom) it'd HOOK my old wounds to finally "WIN" her approval.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 1:11pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 2:29pm

hahahha! ...well, Ive felt Im posting too much too - I guess its a byproduct. :)

Im just trying to stay ON TOP of the issues and NOT get lost in irrational emotions.

So this post - asking me to look at the truth was very helpful. Im glad I saw it before you deleted! darn it - I shouldve copied the questions for my arsenal! :) They were good! You came up with those on your own?!?!? AWESOME!

I really relate to your emotional neglect and proving / chasing that results from that. Plus - women our age (Im soon to be 45) were socialized to be people pleasers - we were JUST before the self-help curve where the white elephant in the room could be discussed openly.

Sooo when do you get in to see a counselor??? I bet you're so looking forward to having someone to talk with face to face - and get some of your STUFF OUT! :)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 4:08pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 4:43pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 4:52pm

I agree with Dee - but ya'll have to have her Photoshop you some kick ass photos for your profiles so I can look at the pretty pictures :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 5:08pm

Ohhh MOST CERTAINLY DO!

You're at your vacation home??? Im JEALOUS! Are you enjoying a vacation? Are you alone? or with Family right now? (just curious)

I'd LOVE to have more time alone!

God is so faithful to answer prayer! That's awesome he heard you and responded!!!

I too relate to as you said, needing someone especially loving with your insecurity and history. I need reliable people around me too. I settled into NOT receiving that - because I believed "struggling to earn it" would make me finally WIN it...but I think he got energized by the "struggle" and I became depleted and EXHAUSTED by it.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 5:37pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 12:56am

hi

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 2:15pm

I LOVEEEE that you wrote this permission slip Dee - Youre style is so awesome!

Feel like a got a hall pass to Post!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010