Do I believe this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Do I believe this?
3
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:03pm
Well, I ended it with my X a month ago, and he's to be getting married in 2 weeks. He called and said he never had his chance, and if it doesn't work out with his fiance, Melissa, he will look for me. That he's fallen in love with me. But he is afraid to hurt her. He is scared that if he did leave her, I wouldn't be there. I think he wants me to give him an out. But do I believe all this stuff, or is he just scared to get married? HELP!!! I want to move on, but I did seriously feel something, and it won't go away. I did fall for this dude. I am so ashamed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:10pm
I can't imagine how I would feel on the receiving end of those emotions. If it doesn't work out with his fiancee he'll call??? What kind of crap is that? I have no doubt that he's in a really tense, confused state right now. It's got to be scary to know you're making a mistake at the time you get married. But that's not your problem. He's got to make some big decisions and they can't be contingent upon you in any way. If he doesn't want to marry Melissa, that's an entirely separate issue than he wouldn't want to marry Melissa if you were there for him, but otherwise, he will marry Melissa. You know what I'm saying???? He's got to decide how HE feels about Melissa. He either does or doesn't want to marry her.


Sadly, I think he probably is telling you the truth in some respects. And he's scared. And he wants an out. But he's a big boy and he's got to figure out whether he wants to marry Melissa or not. End of story. It's not your job to make that decision for him. IMHO, you need to stay away from him while he figures this out. Love and hugs, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:29pm
I always hated it when xMM said things like this to me...he was afraid if he left his wife for me that our relationship wouldn't work and then where would he be. I kept telling him...why don't you leave your marriage because you keep telling me the relationship sucks. What did he expect me to say? "I guarantee I'll be there for you?" No one can be absolutely guarantee that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:39pm


Do you believe this I hope not, that was such an utter load of BULL CRAP, he wants to be in his wifs bed when it suits him and yours the other times, dump the bum and save yourself from this user.

F