Do you believe in Karma?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
Do you believe in Karma?
4
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 8:57am

I was curious how some of you felt about karma . . . ? In other words, do you think we will pay for our actions by some fate of nature or receive retribution?

I am not a heavy believer in this theory, but signs have made me feel it lately and i am not sure yet how to follow them, or to ignore them . . .

This event happened yesterday . . .

I woke up yesterday morning panicking because I had not done anything for father's day (turns out it is next week :) and I live 2000 miles from my father. So I frantically call my sister who lives in the same town as them, but I dial the number wrong the first time . . . normally would not a big deal.

Anyways, I realized, I dialed the wrong number and I hung up the phone, and I begin to get numerous calls from this lady (the wrong number happens to be her husband's phone). She leaves 2 messages telling me not to call and to leave her husband alone. I was shocked but I continue to get nasty messages.

Finally I call her and speak with her and explain and I thought I convince her that I don't even know who she or her husband is, but the scary, part of it is she has the same name as the wife of my MM (coincidental ?) ! Of course i know it not MMs wife as he lives 8000 miles away (I am a single OW).

Also, I have found out of late that I will probably need a surgery that will render me barren from ever having children (this has been a long time coming), but again can I look at this as some kind of payback?

I don't know . . . but for me these events could be a telling or purely coincidental.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 9:48am

Well... I want to believe in Karma for the sake of exMM someday feeling the immense heartbreak I've experienced trying to move past the same A he's seemed to so easily forgotten... but I don't REALLY believe in Karma.

I guess I believe ALL of us will experience "consequences" for our actions... whether it be backlash from loved ones who learn of our mistake and can't understand... or whether we experience an unusual amount of pain and suffering from the fallout (me) or whatever... I DO believe we each will have a consequence fitting for our own vice. But... to look on EVERYTHING that happens to you from here on out as "punishment" for having done what we did... I don't think that's realistic!

I ache for you though... I can't even imagine what you must be feeling with the pending surgery! :( I'm so sorry!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 9:59am

Sometimes stuff just happens. A call from the Twilight Zone would make me want to get real with myself real fast.

Rather than "karma," why not simply consider the phoning incident a wake-up call, a postit note perhaps from your subconscious that there's a gaping disparity in who you really are, whatever it is you stand for, and whoever it is you are actively being right now.

Perhaps it was intended as nothing more than an indicator that his wife is a real person rather than merely an obstacle and over whose feelings you've been willing to trample in order to get whatever it is you think you want.

As for the possibility of surgery which may render you barren, well, right now it's just that, a possibility, isn't it? So get proactive and seek other opinions? Explore other avenues & methods of treatment, perhaps?

I probably wouldn't worry overmuch about karma so much as getting real & right with myself and whatever it is I believe in. JMHO.

~LeFeen~

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. " ~Anais Nin~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:49am

I believe that everything we do comes back to us. We are responsible for our choices. There are consequences to every action. Sometimes we see these immediately, as in failing to pay attention while driving and getting in a car accident. Sometimes it takes years, like a smoker finally contracting lung cancer. You can't do something you know is wrong and expect something right to come of it. The law of cause and effect is real and governs this world. During an A we seem to feel that we are the exception to this law. Like a child playing with fire we know the consequences but think that we will be exempt from them.

At the same time not everything that happens to us is our fault. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. You have to control what you can and let the rest go. It is the classic story of good vs evil. The struggle for personal freedom seems to be the theme to this life. You see this theme repeated again and again. You see it in Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, most religions. By violating the laws of right and wrong we lose our freedom, because we will definately receive the consequence. We have the choice to make the decision but not the choice to accept what happens because of that decision.

The fact that you feel this phone call was "Karmic" is important. You know what it meant to you and that is the truth of what it was. As for your surgery, I am sorry and I hope all goes well, I don't see that as a consequence of your A. Sometimes bad things happen. Love yourself and be your own champion and then you will be worthy of the life you want to be living.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 1:19pm

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your surgery.

It is said what goes around comes around. And a lot of vindictive thoughts crossed my mind right after d-day. However, time has passed by, and I do not wish anything bad to happen to my H's xOW. If there is karma, I just wish she has learnt from her mistakes and will never do it again to another woman.

There is no reason to get freaked out. YOu made mistakes...but try to learn to forgive yourself. And if you believe in God, ask for His forgiveness too. Make peace with yourself and move on.

All the best.