do you ever wonder.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
do you ever wonder.........
5
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 5:43am
if your xmm is someone elses xmm on here? I was reading missthe feelings post and boy that letter reminds me exactly of something written by my xmm.. Im sure that none of them are , but makes me think that these men are all the same.. what a smack into reality , you want to think your guy is special and theres no one like him ,however they are al the same.. that same tone in the e mails the same choice of words, the wording.. i got an e mail one time that said hello my confused little friend.. what is that?! any way just something i wondered, or more like noticed.. hopefully its the little things like this that will keep me from contacting him .. was exactly a month yestday ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 8:42am

WAM

They are all the same in that they know what buttons every woman wants the man in he life to push and they push them but for there own benifit...they treat women like VENDING MACHINES...push the right buttons and you get the candy of your choice.

Knowing what buttons to push takes practice and the fact that they are so good at it should tell us something....WE were not the first woman they have done this to regardless of what they say or we want to believe.

confused little friend == woman I have no respect for.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 11:33am

I wouldn't be shocked at all if some of us were seeing the SAME xMM, literally!!!!

Meefree is right, it's like these xMM's go to school to learn how to be cheaters. I never forget the day when my xMM's W read my text message I sent to her H. I panicked and xMM was soooooooo cool about the whole thing. He knew EXACTLY what to say to his W, he knew EXACTLY what he wanted me to tell her, it's like he's done this many times before.

My xMM told me that he "almost" had another A before he met me, which I now believe he DID have that A and I am sure that's the reason he ended it with me too because he found someone else. HOWEVER, he figured he'll be the "nice guy" and left me a second vm telling me how he still wants to remain "friends". He figured I'll be Plan B just in case!

Well, my vending machine takes NO MORE quarters!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 1:41pm
I'm no longer in my affair but when I was I would wonder all the time while I was on the other board. Since I met my SOM via the world wide web I just knew I wasn't the only one but that still didn't stop me from starting up a wild affair with him. There was one other woman on the board at the time I will say no names who actually thought both our men were the same person. I agreed with here and did a little test but to no avail he didn't take the bait so we let it go. Three years into my affair my SOM accidentally sent me a e-mail to someone else with a bunch of mushy stuff in it and details of some history they had together but it actually didn't bother me too much since I was the married one who wasn't going to leave my husband as much as I said I would. I'm a poster child for cake eaters I admit it. I also admit I will never engage in that kind of behavior ever again. Plus my heart can't take it or my health.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 5:11pm
i know what u mean.. my xmm was the same when when his daughter found a txt msg from me.. he was like dont worry ill take care of it.. told me not to answer my phone and to deny everything told me what to say to her if she got ahold of me.. wont be a problem.. he told me he had on previous affair before me many years ago.. i wonder tho now .. this is sheading whole new lite on things for me .. not necessarly a bad thing .. however i thought he was different .........dont well i guess
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 11:19am

Given the pattern of behaviors of OMs and OWs, it's not surprising to see this topic up for discussion again.


For those of you willing to access the archive section of this board, there are several posts in February and March 2003 addressing this same issue. Different women (and I think 1 or 2 men) voicing similar observations, yet their words of advice ring true some 2 years later.


As for my own 2 cents, even though in some instances it's now been close to 20 years since I was in an affair with a particular woman, if I didn't know better I'd swear she was posting here on the board. Which for me means that while the names and dates may change, the affair patterns continue to be replayed over and over through life.


My own way of breaking the "wondering" was to accept that the past is past and all the energy in my world will not change it so for me it is best to channel my energy on my future and what it is bringing to me. I can change my life going forward. The past is history and set in stone.


Focus on what you want from people in your life and those people who support what you want from life begin to appear in your life and stay there. Shed the liars, deceivers and connivers. They are a waste of time. My experience is that honest people live in the open, kind people speak the truth in soft tones and respect given is given back in like kind manner......respectful people in my experience do not use judgement words to describe the love of their life, so "confused little friend" doesn't appear in the conversations.....


Hope my 2 cents helps,


cl-nre