Do You Know Your Motivation for A ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Do You Know Your Motivation for A ?
15
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 1:46am

I thought of this at 2:30am last night and here I am after midnight thinking about it again. So let me get this off my chest. I need to write or else those cookies next to me are going to send that size 4 dress back to the store !!


I began wondering, do we

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 7:24pm

Thank you E1


It's amazing how by doing the opposite of what they do that we allow that control. I do this with dad too, but in a positive manner - chose a husband is his complete opposite. H is kind, gentle, patient, would never raise a hand to me. He might not be the most exciting man (excitement I found in the A), but he

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 7:31pm

"When it first started, of course I wrote it off: thought it was simply a diversion from my boring home life, but it took the a and some really productive therapy sessions to realize that the motivation stemmed from something sooooo much deeper...childhood issues/relationship issues/choices..."


I think that is a common ground here. We thought it was for excitement, an escape, love, boredom of day to day life etc. Maybe some of that was a part of it on the

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 9:54pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 11:10pm

This stuff hit home for me too. I have begun delving into issues stemming back to my pre-teen and teen years, and my relationship with both my parents. My H feels that I have kept all this stuff inside me for so long, and now it's time to 'face it' once and for all, with this being a perfect opportunity to deal with all the issues and begin healing for good so I am able to enjoy the rest of my life (and marriage) in peace.

I am, however, having trouble with exactly how to 'deal with' this stuff, get over it and move on. Yes I am in IC, but I'd love to hear from others who have been through the same thing and have been able to find peace and get on with a much happier life. Right now I just can't see the end of the tunnel (BTW, I am 2 weeks NC today) and I feel as though there are just so many things to deal with and think about at the moment so, consequently, my mind is in a jumbled mess, jumping from one thing to another and not getting anywhere at all. All I seem to be achieving right now is the stringing together of each NC day when I feel like I should actually be in the process of dealing with this stuff from my earlier years....any thoughts or advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 12:40am

bestrong,


You are expecting too much, too soon hon. 2 weeks NC, you are still dealing with raw pain. Don't load up any additional emotional baggage to work through right now. Just let it all wait. No wonder you feel so stressed, you have a lot on your plate right now.


I didn't get my answers in 2 weeks, it was more like

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