Do You mind if I Rant, Kick and Scream for a Minute or Two?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Do You mind if I Rant, Kick and Scream for a Minute or Two?
40
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 3:22am

Im NOT throwing in the towel...Im NOT giving up...Im NOT gna be in an affair in 2011 and Im NOT breaking contact.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009

Michelle-

You got very good advice here, and I don't really have anything to add except for my sympathy and support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

Myra,

Yes, I thought of her. But not much or often. There were times that I had told him - he's not being fair to ANYONE and empathized with a woman being lied to other than myself - It HURT my sisterhood feelings for sure. What I owe another woman. Yes. However, I COMPARTMENTALIZED my thoughts / feelings. I suppose the parallel relatio - allowed me to think that. I began expecting MY rights - and wasn't concerned with hers.

However, let me say this - even at risk of sounding SELFISH - which IT IS. This will probably be the LAST thing I think of in this entire ordeal. As in MY world she is NOT a priority; nor is HE ANYMORE! Thankfully!

So...as long as I get myself better...Im just thankful I saved MYSELF from going down with the ship. She can HAVE HIM. (as she has..the whole time)

When he informed me he was leaving her...I said...shouldnt you prepare her? He said..the kids...the kids...he even told me that he was going to have another affair to get over me.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

Ohhh man!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

Melinda,

How about I drink two six packs of beer and throw fifty pens with his business name on them at his building while sobbing?? (I actually did that, LOL)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH Well, that answers my QUESTION: "WHO does that?!?!?!??!" hahahhahahah!

Well, I guess my posting about the affair on Twitter was a maneuver of revenge out of my anger. Sure. Look what it got me. Im actually kind of GLAD my twitter was deleted - as a by product, because it was a huge distraction for me too. This is a time I need full attention on my work and career moves to be financially where I want to be in 2011. So...Ill ACCEPT the consequences of my revenge via social media.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

E1,

They sure DID RUSH IN! Like TROOPERS!!! MAN! When I even ATTEMPT to talk to my Real Lifer's about this...I get CRICKETS. :) Not because I've done it ad nauseum (even though I likely have... or I worry about it) but they just can't RELATE. They try. :)

You pointed me to other's situations with these DEVOURING EGO TYPES - so glad to know Im in UNDERSTANDING company. The thing we found so attractive and driven towards - becomes this achilles heel.

You Said it E1 - 3 things. Im actually going to go back - and "spreadsheet" how many issues this whole thread contains. :) hahahah It sure is some fodder for psyche books that's for sure! I see its been read over 600 times...I sure do HOPE that by being this open - and all of the FREAKING SPOT ON PHENOMENAL RESPONSES...I've received that lurkers all over the

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010

Michelle - I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your post. work and kids and no energy...but no excuse. Um do you mind if I just hate his guts for you so that you can just move the hell on?

Do you remember what you said to me those first few days I was trying to end it and I was so so so sad? You said when you think of him immediately say to yourself "me me me" and that is exactly what I did. It worked! You, my friend, must take your own sage and wonderful advice. You and I both know that YOU know what you need to do. You need to focus on Michelle and what Michelle wants and needs in this short spell we have on earth.

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010

FARK.

YOURE RIGHT.

I BELIEVED HIM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

I LOVE YOU SUNSHINE!!!!!!

YOU ARE SOOOO ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!!!

:)

I am feeling so much better, and more

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

Miss Lulu!

I agree with you.

Before you even posted this - Id already told myself...I needed a MENTAL BREAK!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wow, Melinda. Just wow.

I am just now catching up on this thread. All I can do is absorb every brilliant word of truth resonating from this thread. I'm blown away. And this is helping me understand so many of my still unanswered questions.
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.

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