Do you think you supplemented your xAP's marriage?
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|Wed, 08-01-2012 - 7:33am|
Seeing as though things are a bit quiet here at the moment I thought I'd try and start a thread. One of the things I've wondered about xAP is that he used me as a means of filling a void in his life. He is happily married to a wonderful woman who he admits has many many outstanding qualities, she is kind, caring, loving, hard-working, fantastic mum, daughter, so supportive and loyal towards him, so understanding and forgiving, a complete gem of a person and he loves her dearly. The only problem is that he does not find her sexually attractive, she doesn't enjoy sex and his sex life is unsatisfactory .... and that's where Soglad came in.
As time went on in our relationship I became aware that he was becoming more firmly entrenched in his marriage, even though we had been together longer, his children had flown the coop, and while I would have been expecting him to be moving towards making a committment to me, it was clear that any form of committment from him was becoming less and less likely of ever happening. And as I analysed the reasons why I realised that his marriage was probably actually stronger than it had been at the beginning or before our A, because he was happier with his life on the whole, all his needs were being met, mostly by his W and in the one department she came up short, I was filling his needs. The situation for him was perfect and he didn't want to change it in any way.
As far as xAP supplementing my marriage is concerned, no he didn't. He did fill an emotional void in my life, but the A created much more unhappiness, distress, disappointment, heartache, trauma and pain than the small amount of emotional support it gave me. The bad points far outweighed the good points.
So, did anyone else feel this way too?
Thanks for listening x o x