Do you wonder.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Do you wonder.....
10
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 2:14pm
Do you ever wonder -

Does he think about the times that you shared.

Can he possibly hurt as hurt as you do sometimes.

How he can just go on like nothing ever happened.

Did the A actually mean anything to him?

Does he want to pick up the phone and call you?

I know that I sure do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 3:29pm
I wonder those things every day. It is sad because my affair has been over for quite a while and I still wonder these things daily. It is hard to admit that I will never see him to know the answers.

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:09pm
Sometimes I do wonder those things, but I think I know the answer deep down in my heart. The good news is, I used to OBSSESS about those questions, and now they only occasionally drift into my head. And I think that will happen for the rest of my life; I mean, honestly -- don't most of us have an old high school or college boyfriend that we still wonder about sometimes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:19pm
That's it! Your post is exactly what I am feeling. If I could just get past obsessing about what is on his mind, this would be a piece of cake! He is a man and will never share those thoughts with me so I will always wonder. Sucks to be me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:23pm


I had an old high school sweetheart whom I had not seen in over 16 years. We ran into one another in December and it was most refreshing to learn that over all these years he has continued to think about me the way I have thought about him.
Avatar for kassieree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 1:06am
I think about these things all the time. Especially as my XMM moved away without even saying goodbye. But that was nearly 6 months ago so why do i still think about him. He made his intention more than clear don't you think? And not to mention that i wasn't even in love with this guy. I fell for him but i never fell in love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:25am
I just think that if I knew the answers to these questions everything would be so easy!! I find that I often obsess over these thoughts! AHHH! I jsut wish that it would go away already!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 9:54am
yes i wonder this alot. i spent a lot of time in therapy last summer thinking about how you can love someone so much and then suddenly, you drop off the face of the planet, like you never existed.

My XMM told me once, that just becuase i don't hear from him, doesn't mean he is not thinking of me. I know that what we had was special--albeit destructive--and that i cannot be forgotten that easily.

I know that he will never share what we had with anyone else; not his W or another friend. Ours was a complicated relationship--as many of these are.

You have not been forgotten; if you had, none of this meant anything at all; and we all know, that the stakes and the risks are so high in these relationships, that certainly, there was something there driving it from the beginning.

My XMM used to tell me he thought about making love to me every ten minutes of the day. He would daydream of me in meetings. I know he does not think of me this way anymore; but he does think of the amazing and special person i am and that we came, close, so very close, to destroying both of our lives for each other.

There is a line from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack: "Throw our lives away, for one happy day." We thought about doing that a lot, but we didn't. These are big thoughts and memories that are not simply forgotten, by us, by them, by me, by you.

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:05pm
By the way, if my xMM were to look at my life today, he would probably think I was moving on without a second thought. I mean, I'm keeping busy, I've got lots of friends, new interests, done lots of fun things in the last 4 months, and in the few times we've communicated since the breakup, I've been sure to tell him that I'm happy (he asked), life is good, I have no hard feelings, etc. Never once did I say I missed him or that I was ever sad. For one thing, I just didn't want to make him feel bad, and I also wanted to maintain a little bit of my pride.

Anyway, what I'm saying is -- looks can be deceiving!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:43pm
you are a smart lady katie!

I also think that my OMM is doing that a bit now. playing it off so the emotions dont hurt too much.

I know he loves me, but time to move on!

eek...did i just write that...hope i feel that good again tomorrow.

ciao!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 10:44pm
The times after the A ended that I contacted XMM I made it known that I was hurt and upset by it. I think that I thought maybe this would make him feel bad for what he did to me and still remain in contact. How pathetic is that????? I need a nice big *thump* *thump* on my head. He sure made it known to me that everything was going great with his W!!! Who knows if it actually is but that was a nice big slap on the face. I think that there may be a time when I will see him this summer (since XMM W and I work for the same company) - I will be sure to pretend like I do not give a rats as* about him or what happened!! (Meanwhile inside I know it will be killing me)

Grrrrrrrr! Men!