Does everythig seem crappy when A is ove

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Does everythig seem crappy when A is ove
6
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 6:23pm
No that my A is over and it hurt real bad, does everything seem crappy at home. When I was having the A,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 6:33pm
you're kicking yourself in the butt for what? ending it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 7:00pm

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 7:15pm
Yes, for ending it. There was no reason to end it. She was in love with me and wanted to continue it. I forced myself to push her away because I did not want to get
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 8:42am

Uh, are you serious? I can only imagine that this hasn't received a response because we are all probably too shocked to know what to say. No reason to end it? How about for your W? Your kids? If they found out about your A, it would crush them. Are you really that selfish? You really want to have your cake and eat it too? If you are that selfish, then at least end the A for you if you aren't motivated by your W and kids. Leading a double life will eventually kill your soul.


Yes, I was once in your shoes, but never, ever, ever, did I think what I was doing was okay. I always knew deep down that it was wrong and I did everything I could to rationalize it, but I was fooling no one. A's are wrong period. I've experienced 3 DDays. I've seen the pain in my H's eyes. I obliterated all trust. I smashed his heart on the ground, and for what? A few quick highs? You really need to take a good, hard look at yourself and figure out why you feel this way. So many enders "see the light" after breaking free from the cycle; they realize the errors of their ways and they go about "fixing" those issues that led them to an A in the first place. I've never seen anyone regret ending. I hope you have read the healing library.


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 9:51am

Jane,
He doesn't have kids, but you're point is still well-made.

Pug,
Jane is probably 100% right as to why you didn't receive responses. I know I was so knocked on my butt by your reply that I was godsmacked into stunned silence. and that NEVER happens to me; I've got a mouth that won't quit (usually). I can only pray that you will have an epiphany that you have obligations to more than yourself and your selfish desires - you own your W and even your X better than wanting to use them so shamelessly. Being on this board is only 2% about getting over the boo-boos of a lost relationship and 98% about self-improvement and accepting accountability.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 12:41pm

Yeah, everything feels crappy and probably will for a while.