does it get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
does it get easier?
3
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:22am
long story short- The relationship (& I hate to say relationship b/c you can't be in a relationship with someone who is married) I had with a married man ended yesterday and he ended b/c I told him he was a liar. I called him out, Go Figure. I know I deserve more and I want more but it doesn't make it any easier. I was originally told that he was seperated and getting a divorce- 6 months later- nothing has changed, infact it got worse she moved back. I know this is stupid but I guess I am looking for reassurance that it does get easier and I will find a man that has all the qualties that I am looking for b/c the married man has the qualties I want in someone. My feelings are hurt b/c I realized that all he did was lie, and was anything he said the truth? I am lost and confused. I am looking for support from someone who has gone through this similar experience. There is alot more to the situation but I am sure its about the same as any other one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: jnj97
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:25am

JN

Yes it gets easier, BUT it takes time and NO CONTACT, if you keep contact you can still get over it but it takes a LOT longer and is very painful.

Yes there are good men out there and with patience you will find one, me whos qualities do not include being a LIAR AND A CHEAT.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
In reply to: jnj97
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 11:36am
inj97, did you read what you said, you said this man has the qualities you were looking for, Are you looking for a man who can't tell the truth, that lies to you? Those are not good qualities. Think about that. I want a man who can tell me the truth even if it hurts because at least that is a man you can trust, hurt or not I would rather be hurt by the truth than be blin sided by a lie that comes out later and a lie you beleived and counted on. You deserve a man who tells it like it is and not what he thinks you want or need to here. You can never trust a lier!!! As for it geting easier, every body is different in the healing process, it takes longer for some than others but it does get easier, I lost my 4 month baby boy (20 years ago now) and to me that is the most devastating thing ever and I figure if that get easier dealing with that then I can get through any thing in time so yes it does get easier but it does'nt happen over night take time to greive and pamper your self a little learn to love your self.
good luck and keep posting for support,
hugs to you I know your hurting,
kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
In reply to: jnj97
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 12:52pm
Thanks. I never thought about the quality of liar and cheat. You are right I rather have the truth upfront, even if it hurts the truth is always easier. I wanted soo badly to be with him but was also aware that he would most likely do the same to me. She just saw his bill and saw my number on it- 3 or 4 times a day we would talk and I believe she called yesterday but didn't leave a message. He told me they weren't together, I just feel foolish and I wonder if he is hurting like I am? I just don't understand and I am trying to make sense of it all, I mean he said he was happier with me, and was leaving, but he didn't and thats what hurts b/c I wanted to believe him and if it was the truth he would have left. LIES LIES LIES. I am sorry for your loss.