Does it really exist?
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| Wed, 06-01-2005 - 12:30pm |
I'm pulling from CGU's message:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=16067.4&ctx=0
and this part in particular... "Try to focus on your future, a future with a man who loves YOU and only YOU. A man who cherishes you and who is honest, upfront and loyal."
Ya see, before I got involved with my exMM, I would have SWORE he and his W had the "perfect" (definable by the fact that they were perfect for each other and made it work wonderfully together - not meaning literally perfect so don't start posting at me about how no marriage is perfect) marriage. That he would NEVER cheat on her and that neither of them even had a wandering eye. And then... our A happened and I started questioning if it's possible for ANY person (not just men) to be faithful!?
I honestly am starting to think ALL humans are capable of cheating if put in the most susceptible position... so are we really never guaranteed a faithful spouse? One who will FOREVER love JUST us... cherish JUST us, be honest, loyal... etc.!?!?!?!
Why get married? :p (I know I'm VERY cynical right now... bear with me! :p)

I believe some people can be loyal. Yes, they too probably become tempted and attracted to others. It's not something inside them that is different it's how they react to it. If my DH felt someone was "after" him or felt he was developing an attraction to someone I think he would remove himself from the situation and keep himself from being around that person so nothing could happen. Then those feelings, not acted on, would go away because they weren't taken to that next level.
Yes, all people are capable of cheating if we put ourselves in that suceptable position. The trick is to not put ourselves in that position. And, i can only speak for myself, but alchohol is a factor in my poor decisions.
i don't think we are guaranteed anything, faithful spouse or otherwise. but it comes down to trust, do i trust my DH, yes. I believe trust is a gift you give someone and I've chosen to give that to DH.
Hope your having a wonderful day. Please don't take my 'straight talk' negatively, it's meant for myself too.
Happychaser
I'm about as cynical as they come when it comes to love and human desire, with my 19 y/o daughter coming in as a close second. At her age, she already feels no man out there is capable of being faithful should the right situation come up. I am in no position to convince her otherwise either. Because I think the concept of monogamy, although so sweet sounding when we are first in-love with a new person, eventually becomes what I believe to be a rediculous concept. Why? Because the temptation out there for both sexes is everywhere and because every ounce of us that is human DESIRES those we find ourselves attracted to. You can convince yourself otherwise by leaving every situation you find temptuous, but it's there regardless. When we are in a committed relationship, we want the other person not to have any inkling of desire for anyone else, but in reality, you and I both know that will never be the case. As human beings, we were designed to be attracted to the opposite sex, yet, we are expected to turn our back on that desire once we find "love".
Signed,
The Cynical Pup
Ima,
Bottom line?
When we are emotionally healthy, we attract and find attractive others who are also emotionally healthy. And when we aren't, we don't.
~LeFeen~