dont do what I did.... :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
dont do what I did.... :(
4
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 2:07pm

Hey EAS'ers I haven't been on too often lately since the W had contacted me. That was almost 2 weeks ago now. I still feel the guilt that I didnt reply but I believe that it is in my best interest that I close that door. As I did. Unfortunately I broke NC with him when all this went down. I felt miserable that I did. Even more so that he ignored my msg to him. I sent a message just telling him that I am done with ALL of it and I am not going to reply nor deal with any of them and they need to work it out. I was super nice to him. Even wished him luck in working it out and I didnt want to hurt the situation more than I already did. No response. Then I was devastated NOW I am relieved. I am glad he respected my wishes. On the other hand I feel rejected. In the midst of all this I discovered through his W message to me that here were many others. I felt like such a fool. I am now dealing with many regrets.

well what I did and STRONGLY advise you don't and those that have will know what I am talking about..I went on his profile on the social networking site and he had a "happy" photo of him with his family. Looks recent. I was sad actually very sad and I couldnt take that image out of my mind. I was also reminded that I am doing the right thing. I am feeling mixed emotions. So bitter sweet I suppose. I also thought the negative which took over 90% of the space in my head. I thought how I was worthless to him and he couldnt care less the hurt that he has caused. I feel like besides his W I am the only one hurting in this whole situation. He is dealing just fine. I dont wish harm or misery on anyone but a little empathy would be nice. An Im sorry I hurt you. But I am a grown adult and I know better than to fall for a MM. I really didnt plan for it. He on the other hand knew exactly what he wanted and he went after it full force. I wish that he just left me alone. Well at least he is now. Now I just have to deal with a lot of emotions I never knew you could actually feel all at one time :(. Its so hard and Im not dealing with it all too well.

Lesson learned: DO NOT look at his stuff EVER again. I cant it hurts me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 3:20pm

lll,


I absolutely refuse to look at his FB. Well, I did a month or so ago and he doesnt really use it. Only has 15 friends--mostly relatives--and doesn't even have a picture of himself posted. But still, just seeing his family (whom I've never seen before) left me feeling a bit like a garden slug. Of course I knew he had a family, but actually seeing them made me feel bad. For them.


Just hang on and ride that emotional wave. Even the big breakers

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 3:34pm

I'm glad you came back to let us know how things are going. You know, once the W calls, you can pretty much kiss the A and all of it's bagage goodbye...which actually isn't a bad thing. It's just untimely to those of you who weren't quite ready for the finality. The jury is still out on my decision as to whether I would have called her back or not. Perhaps in your situation it was the best choice, but then contacting him was

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 5:03pm

Hi Live,

I did the same thing. I looked not only as HIS profile, but I looked at the new girl's profile as well. It was horrible and it was a major setback for me. I have since blocked them both on my FB settings, and it has helped me a lot. I am no longer tempted to go look.

Hang in there, sounds like you've learned the hard way just like I did. I feel your pain, sister, and I'm sending you big hugs.

-Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 5:22pm

Hi LIve,


I just want to say that I've done the same thing in the past.