Don't drive me out of here, please!
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Don't drive me out of here, please!
| Mon, 03-22-2010 - 1:49pm |
I am so hurt. And to think I was doing so well. It has been 2 and half months since I have been NC/LC and I could feel myself getting stronger by the day. Then last friday there was a event at work and somehow we ended up 'talking' :( I told him how much I miss him. And to think that he didn't even initiate the discussion. I feel like I have thrown my dignity away and given him all the power back. He was as sweet as always and said that it was hard for him too. I am so ashamed of myself and spent all weekend thinking about how weak I really am. I am so down that I know I deserve to be asked to go back to lurking and don't really deserve your sympathies. It has been such a struggle since Friday that I couldn't help posting today. Thanks for listening!

Hi Gal,
I don’t believe you are a weak person rather simply a person who had a weak moment.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Dust yourself off, gal. It was a little stumble, that's all. You did not give your power or dignity away--well, not too much of it anyway.
Big Hugs to you Gal-
Try to focus on your 2.5 months NC and NOT the single moment of weakness. You are not back to square one, you've just stumbled a bit. You have not lost all of the ground you earned while in NC. That took some real strength. You are strong. Recognizing your mistake is a big step too. Like the others said, just dust yourself off and keep looking forward.
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
This board is here for you. I feel responsible for you saying all those things about going back to lurking and about being driven out. That makes me feel horrid!! This board is here for US - people like you and ME, who are ending it and need support - sometimes we falter, sometimes we triumph. The important thing is to keep trying and moving forward.
Brush yourself off and better days ahead.
xo
Dee
Please do not go back to lurking! I have learned so much from your post - your hurt and anguish were not for not. When I read your post, and then had to face my xAP today, I was able to remember clearly what you were feeling after you confessed missing him. That would have been me today without your reminder. I am so so sorry that you are feeling the way you are, but each of our mistakes because invaluable lessons to others. I need to hear stories of genuine mis-steps, just like I need the stories of courage and triumph. Ending is a process ... you are amazing, strong and committed. Wrap yourself in our love and admiration, and get going again.
Hugs to you,
Jodi
Gal,
Sweetie, don't worry about ME; this is about YOU. ok? Feel better. Like you, when I broke NC I felt like I'd let everyone here down and that I was a total failure. Not true. It's a process, ya know? As long as you buck up and keep on keeping on, you're winning the fight. Good for you for brushing yourself off and today is a new day! Thank God.
x and o!
Dee