Don't know how to feel
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:06pm |
MM, told me that......he was leaving his W today. Without all the rampling here's how I feel.
I'm angry because I can't trust him. I don't know if he is leaving or not. I have no idea where he spends his time. He's left his W before. Moved into his own place, just to apease me, and was still spending nights and weekends with his W. And eventually totally moved back in with her.
I know I don't want this liar in my life, but I can't seem to end it now. I know that I do want to end it. Right now, I'm scared that I will be forced to end it. But on the other hand, my inability to socialize with him, might cause him to get feed up and end it himself, which would be a very good thing. Or, he'll just sneak around behind my back, and sleep with someone else. In case you haven't figured it out.....I DON'T TRUST MM.
I'm scared that if I try to end it, he will get angry and expose our relationship. He has nothing to loose he is "supposedly getting a divorce". But, him exposing our relationship would have a negative impact on my life.
I can't seem to sort out all that I'm feeling. Sometimes writing it all out, somehow makes it make sense to me......not today.
I'm a good example on how an A can get soooo out of control. I still consider this to me one of my worst mistakes.....ever.

My MM used this bit on me too -- I fell for it as long as I wanted to. I was so afraid he'd blow both of our lives apart by coming out. When I was ready to get out, and he said he'd tell his W & leave her for me. I just said, don't you dare mess up my life -- I am NOT here for you anymore. I just refused to deal with that mess and somehow I knew he wouldn't be able to go there & I was right.
YOu get away from this man and you tell him he'd better stay away from you for his good as well as yours. Don't let this man use emotional blackmail on you.