Don't know if NC was broken!!??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Don't know if NC was broken!!??
2
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 10:12pm

I haven't posted much lately mainly cuz I think I'm ok with all that's (not) been happening with XMM. We haven't had contact in about 4 weeks or so.(Not really counting the days anymore)except for the hang ups we had for a while at work and the times he tried to call my cell but left no message or anything. Well on Monday I was just pulling out of my driveway to go to work when XMM was pulling up in his work truck. I don't know if he planned on stopping or not (he would ususally come earlier if he planned on stopping) but he saw me, stopped his truck and started to get out and I just smiled nicely and waved to him and continued out of my driveway. I felt HORRIBLE!!!!I'm sure it was the right thing to do for NC but it sure seemed mean of me. I expected him to call me that day but he didn't. Is this episode considered breaking NC? It DID put me back a bit but as the day went on I got over it.

Now get this, today at work, phone rings, I answer and it's HIM! He actually said hello, (didn't hang up). I was kind of shocked but I was nice to him and pretty much asked him what was up. He told me that HIS WIFE (my x-friend) wanted him to call and see if I got my W2's yet. (she worked with me for a while). Why would a BS want the WS to call the OW for ANY reason? Anyway, I tried to keep the conversation short but we ended up talking for like 15 minutes. And I'll admit, it felt good to hear his voice again. (I even found out when he is leaving to see his family for 2 weeks. It was bugging me, not knowing.)We were friendly with eachother but then he started saying that his W wants him to get counseling because he can't get me out of his head and she thinks he should be over me by now. Says he's still screwed up over the whole thing and wanted to know if I've moved on. I told him yes. That I do still think about him but my life is different than it was a month ago and I am not going to turn back now. He then asked me if I would still want to be with him if he does decide to leave her, and I said (which was stolen from either Free or Posie, I believe)WHEN YOU WALK IT LIKE YOU TALK IT, WE CAN HAVE THIS CONVERSATION. NOT UNTIL THEN. And all he said was "I know, I know". We were talking about me wanting to sell my house and he said, "funny, you want out of it, and I want in it!" Anyway, just a lot of emotional little things that I shouldn't have listened to. But I did, so I guess this means NC was broken in this case huh?

I'm now hoping he doesn't take it as an invitation to stop by here. I truly am NOT going back. I've been feeling too good and I don't want to be dragged down by that depression and empty feeling again. Thanks for all the awesome little "Quotes" from Posie and Free. I use your words a lot!!

Pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 10:31pm

Pal

You did not do yourself any favors talking to him, it seems clear he still has the desire to draw you back in if he can WITH OUT ending his marriage, YOUR KIDDING YOURSELF IF YOU THINK HIS WIFE ASKED HIM TO CALL YOU...HE LIED TO YOU GIRL.

I am sure Posie thanks you I believe that was one of hers.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 10:51am
You didn't stop your car and talk to him. You didn't call him. Yes, you spoke with him for a little bit, but you didn't initiate anything, and you didn't get sucked in to his words. Yea, NC was broken, but you are human. I think it sounds like you're doing great!