Don't know what do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Don't know what do!
12
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:02am
I haven't posted in a long time. I've been in an affair for a year now on and off. Tried breaking it off far too many times and was unable everytime. MM at the beginning was everything i wanted in a man. I'm also M and have a great H who adores me, but i got into the A for the excitement. As time passed by i started to get to know MM for who he really is and now i dislike everything about him and he is everything that i do not like. He never did anything special for me, did not even buy a b'day present for me even though i did for him. Everything was always on his terms since his wife always calls him since they have young children. Well his excuse was always that he has young kids. He promised that for the summer they were going away and he would be free and things would change since i always told him i couldn't do it anymore. So anyways the family did go away and now things did not change we still only see eachother for an hour here and there and he says he is always busy with meetings and things. So this time i felt different and couldn't take it anymore so i told him that it seems like it was not the wife and i am sick of doing everything his way and i was shocked by his response. The only thing he said was that I'm sorry that you feel this way.

What is wrong with me. Why did i put up with so much? I know this time is over and i want to be strong and not give in anymore. when we are together he tells me that being M for 14 years he had never even got close to anyone like me and that i was special and that i just don't see how he goes out of his way to see me. I want to believe his words sometimes just for my own peace of mind but then they are probably all lies cuz how can he hurt me so much.

Do you think i should talk to him again and end it or just ignore his calls. Is there anyway to block someone on your cell phone, and i want him to know that i'm blocking him. I've never felt this way before, it's almost as though i hate everything about him but i still can't stop thinking about him. Does that make sense to anyone?

Please help

Thanks

Twilight

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 9:30pm
You are so right, no contact is the only way cuz it is hard to resist the temptation and give in to whatever they want. At least i know i'm like that. I would love to call him and tell him off but i know it's not in me and he knows it too. I was so tempted to call him today and i just wished i was in front a computer and came to this board. But thank god something came up and i didn't do it. IFeel so much better and i haveto say this board is teh best thing for me.

But i can't stop and wonder how is it that we think about these MM every second, or at least i do and he doesn't even call. I don't know if it's his pride or they just think so different. I use to think he really wanted me butnow i'm not sure.

My H is here, i gotta go.

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 9:34pm
i_twilight

Hon they want us the way a Dog wants a bone, he chews on it when the urge hits him then buries it in the dirt tell next time the urge strikes, how much dirt can a woman take.

Free

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