Double Whammy
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Double Whammy
| Wed, 09-30-2009 - 10:39am |
I had a 10 year affair. We began as friends, have always been best friends.
| Wed, 09-30-2009 - 10:39am |
I had a 10 year affair. We began as friends, have always been best friends.
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Lou -
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
I have been reading some of the posts here. It really seems to help just to type this out to someone instead of holding everything in.
I realize I am dealing with 2 separate issues.
LL -
You can do this.
LouLou, sorry to hear that you are in pain, but know this...you have moved away from the madness that was your life.
All of this helps. I know that everything all of you are saying is true.
But I haven't moved away from the madness!!! Now that I hurt so badly from the end of the A, my marriage doesn't seem so horrible. I know
Hi loulou....
big hugs to you. This really sucks. I can relate, I had a horribly abusive marriage as well and I left it.
You were using your xAP as a crutch to endure a horrible marriage, and you expected him to continue to be there for you once you left. Life doesn't always happen that way, does it. Men tend to be very quick at finding another person after they separate, they hate being alone and they need someone to mother them. Just the fact that he found someone so quickly is suspicious and I am willing to bet anything that it will eventually fizzle, seriously no one 'falls in love' with someone after only a month. Looks like his little head is thinking instead of his big one - now that he's free of his W and has discovered all the other fish in the sea, he's in no hurry to commit to you. What a great guy *roll eyes*
Don't go back to your H. No one deserves to be verbally abused, and believe me if you go back it will be worse. Meds won't fix it.
As for your xAP he doesn't deserve any of your attentions right now. His words are rubbish and drivel; only actions matter and look what he has done to his 'best friend'. Go NC on him and focus on yourself, loulou. You did the right thing by calling in sick, you do need a few days to get over this and get your bearings back. I also recommend you go see a therapist or counselor to help you get through this crisis.
You WILL come out of this stronger and happier, loulou. Please have faith in yourself, sweetie. We're here for you xoxoxo
trixie xo
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
It's understandable that you'd want to run back to your husband and familiar surroundings.
I feel so weak.
Take a deep breath.
I went to work this afternoon. Just had to get my mind on something. Trying to seem normal, smiling at everyone. Always covering up. Like I covered up the bad things that happened at home. Nobody who wasn't in my family would ever guess that my husband could yell and throw things and break things. He's not like that around anyone else.
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