I didn't see the show or know what it was about but I will assume it was about a woman having an A from your other post. If that is true I am glad I didn't see it because I'm sure it would have upset me. I'm guessing Dr Phil and the audience were judgmental and harsh on her. See that would have been me a few yrs ago but now I am the MW who had the affair,cheating on my own faithful H and hiding it from my children. I never would have dreamed in a million years I could do that but I did and so I will never judge anyone again for doing it. If it can happen to me it can happen to anyone. Even Dr Phil. I'm sure I could have used all the arguments he probably did about not having A's or hurting people but until you have been there and feel the emotional pulls, you shouldn't condemn others.
Do you know if Dr Phil's show has a website? I would love to see if there are transcripts from the show. I didn't see the show and am interested to see what happened.
I don't think Dr. Phil is harsh. I think he's direct and no-nonsense but not judgmental or harsh, like say Dr. Laura was (is she still around?)
I didn't see the show & am curious about how he handled the issue. But I've seen him counsel couples before and I think he does a great job of pointing out issues on both sides -- rarely taking sides but encouraging and "getting onto" both people. I could see him telling a woman in an affair that she's doing the wrong thing (duh, we knew that) but that she's not taking care of herself either, not just that she's "bad" but that she matters too.
I just reread my post and I sound so harsh and bitter. God I don't want to be bitter. I think this is just sensitive to me because I was raised a Christian and still consider myself one so I hear judgement and condemnation all the time from preachers and within myself so I don't feel I need to hear it from others too. I already feel bad enough. I am glad if they weren't like that on the show. I do remember one discussion that said breaking the wedding vows doesn't always involve affairs. A husband can be married to his job, emotionally distant etc.., and in many ways exclude his wife from intimacy. Then when she goes to someone else she gets the judgement.
I know the "right" thing to do is try to fix the marriage problems but when it has already decayed so much, it may be hard to get the couple to work hard on it.
you didn't sound harsh or bitter, careful. you sounded hurt and defensive. I know what you mean. when I was caught up in my A, I was too. Now, I have compassion for people who make the same mistake I did. I know what a powerful draw it is. But I also know there are no excuses. You can't take your own happiness (ha, what kind of happiness was it for us?) at the expense of other people's lives, you know?
I think you can say it's wrong without feeling badly -- we made a mistake. We're learning from it and struggling to do better. Isn't that what being human is about?
Just My Opinion!
they were not as harsh as I thought he would be. She really, really screwed up, but has a
loving husband four children. She is willing to be on national TV and try to help herself,
my hat is off to her. Its a painful thing especially when sometimes you dont know or
understand yourself what happened. The truth is hard to tell.
Anyway. Im going to keep up with it and hope they make it through it
Have a great day
Go to Dr. Phil.com
I didn't see the show & am curious about how he handled the issue. But I've seen him counsel couples before and I think he does a great job of pointing out issues on both sides -- rarely taking sides but encouraging and "getting onto" both people. I could see him telling a woman in an affair that she's doing the wrong thing (duh, we knew that) but that she's not taking care of herself either, not just that she's "bad" but that she matters too.
I know the "right" thing to do is try to fix the marriage problems but when it has already decayed so much, it may be hard to get the couple to work hard on it.
I think you can say it's wrong without feeling badly -- we made a mistake. We're learning from it and struggling to do better. Isn't that what being human is about?