Dreaded Weekend...Need Strength Ladies
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Dreaded Weekend...Need Strength Ladies
| Fri, 04-16-2010 - 2:01pm |
Well...I have been so dreading tomorrow night...as I will be at an event that xAP will be at. I have been having a rough week...some days stronger, but some not so much! I have NO IDEA how those of you that work together face one another in the state we are in!! Much admiration and respect, because I can honestly say that I am just not sure that would be possible for me. This man has such an effect on me physically...it is not healthy!!!
Anyway, I am anxious, nervous, angry, sad, weak, strong...I know I can do this (well have no choice). It is day 46.... I just need strength...
Thanks Ladies. Have a great weekend.

Healing,
I went through the same thing one week ago-birthday party for coworker and I knew XAP would be there.
Hello,
This is arriving for you too late tonight - but know that I was sending you positive vibes & strength, and looking forward to hearing how you managed.
Be well,
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
This will be very difficult for you.
YOU CAN DO THIS.....we are there with you. You made 46 days NC. You have gotten thru some of the worst times ever. You need to go in there and handle your business. If you see him, keep it all business. If you need to take a moment and go in the bathroom and take a moment to put yourself together, so be it. U just do not let him see you sweat. I hope you make it thru this.
I had times were I hade to face the aftermath of the A, health reasons.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hi Healing-
CSN is right- the anticipation is worse than the actual event. You will get through it, but I wanted to share with you all of the words of strength that I received from this board when I had to face xap a couple weeks ago. I was around 60 days NC/LC at the time. I hope you get a chance to read this before tonight.
First, you need to remember NOT to obsess. You know how dangerous that can be. You've built the situation up in your mind too much. Try not to obsess, but be prepared. DO NOT OBSESS should be at the top of your arsenal and you should read it as much as you need to tonight.
Another strong woman said this: “That’s why it took great courage for you to end it. Because courage is what is required when we don’t really think much of ourselves and yet opt to make a serious decision, in our own best interests. For what you had to do was take a leap of faith, faith in yourself. You had to act as if you believed you were worthy, even though you weren’t so sure. And what’s comforting you now is the awareness that you did the right thing, for you. You stood up for yourself. You removed yourself from the indignity of your situation…” You saved yourself from the wreckage and you should be proud. You need to remember that tonight.
You also need to remember that the fantasy was an addiction, so you can’t take the drug. You can't allow comments like “How have you been?” or “How are you?” to become invitations to open your soul. And, nothing about the affair was funny, so you can't allow opportunities to engage in laughter.
Another wise woman suggested that I take a picture from my wedding and put it in my purse to remind you of what you risk losing.
And here are some more strategies: Do not not make eye contact. Make sure you look and feel your best. Wear something comfy that you look great in. Be well rested. Imagine his family and him going home to them. Remind yourself that you had no choice but to walk away. Repeat, “I am what matters most.” Repeat, “I am free.” Remind yourself not to be fearful, but rather confident; You are not the same woman you were 46 days ago. Be your professional self, get the job done, and then get the heck out of Dodge. This is your career, your are good at it – this is about YOU being amazing at what you do — not about HIM. Remember that he is no longer in your life (period!!!!!). And last, but not least, put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard every time you start remember the good stuff with him.
You cannot let him see your pain. He cannot know that you are affected. And when the day is done, you will have done it, and you will go home and be relieved that it's over and you can move on.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Thank You again ladies...needed these words. Been a rough start to the day...started period, major PMS and hormones flying, finished reading the book "My Sister's Keeper"...mistake because I sobbed like a baby and haven't gotten to do that in 47 days....so I think I was a combination of the book and LIFE. So I look like crap at the moment, H and I got in an argument and are not speaking at the moment, went to find a top for tonight because I want to look great...and found nothing.
But on a positive note...I managed to tell myself today that the pain I am feeling is only a fraction of the pain that my H and his W would feel had this continued and a DDay was upon us. 7 years wasted...the rest of my life to make up for it! I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone...especially the man I love and am going to share the rest of my life with. I will be strong, I will do my best to talk myself through this, I am a great actress right? Been doing it for a LONG time!!! Thank you ladies, I appreciate all your advice.
Be sure to let us know how it went. I am sure you'll want to give us a good report so that means you're going to get through this just fine, right? ;-)
You've been offered great advice. Just keep busy pouring those drinks and making small talk to whomever, whenever, and wear those mental blinders that block your peripheral vision so looking around the room ain't an option. ;-)
I have to see Xmm 5 days a week. Even though he's right there in my face, I do not see him, KWIM? Remember, they are JAM, and ones who failed, in a big way, to live up to the "M" part of this acronym!
((Hugs))
~Iddy~