Dreams

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Dreams
4
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 9:01am
Ugh, I wish I could somehow make my unconscious mind be as strong as my conscious mind...

Last night I went out with my husband and some friends, had a fabulous, fun time, it was the perfect antidote to all that has been ailing me. Truly, XMM was the furthest thing from my mind. But then, right before I woke my hungover self up this morning I had a dream about XMM -- a tearful, wonderful reunion with him, so intense and real I cried when I woke up. :( Having a hard time shaking the images of that today. I wonder if I haunt his dreams at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: maybekatie
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 3:37pm
katie~

I hear ya, sista....those dreams are THE worst. I've had them myself, and always wake up with such a dull ache in my heart. I think it is just something that we will deal with for a bit, until we are really able to shake them. But then again, they just might always pop up in our dreams from time to time. My last dream, however, was a bit different, though. I dreamed I had met his wife (which I never did and have no idea what she looks like), she had no idea who I was, other than I was a friend to her husband. I kept trying to get away from her because I really didn't want to talk to her, but I couldn't. It ended up that she was really, really nice and in my dream I kept thinking "omigosh, she's so nice, how could I have done this to her". It was weird AND I woke up feeling very guilty...which is something I have never felt the whole time.

Enjoy those moments with your h....it will make it easier as time goes on. I wish I was able to do the same thing, but my marriage is breaking apart right now and it makes it hurt all that much more.

But I keep looking up ^^

dharma

ps....I always wonder if my exMM is thinking about me. But then again, sometimes I don't want to know the answer either. If he's not, that would hurt. If he is and its causing him to hurt, that would hurt too! Either way, it hurts....sigh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
In reply to: maybekatie
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 4:46pm
I rarely dream about XMM but sometimes i do. I did earlier this week. I dreamt that we were all together--me and him and some other friends of ours. We were vacationing together. We were all in one large hotel room watching TV. He and I cuddled up under the covers on one bed; no one, in the dream seemed to notice or care. We wrapped our legs around one another. And then suddenly, the comforter fell off and one of our friends (who doesn't know about our A, in fact, no one knowsw about it) saw that were were "together under the covers." He and I were both a little panicked by it, but we didn't try and hide it. The next scene in the dream is that I run into the person who discovered us and she acted fine--like she didn't care--and I was quite relieved.

The most vivid dream i had about him was early on, last spring. I dreamed that we were talking on the phone to one another from across the room. He was on a bed talking with me (standing up) while his wife, whose head was covered with a sheet (at the time, i didn't know what she looked like as i had not met her yet), was sleeping on the bed, curled up. When we were talking, we were talking intimately. . . while staring at each other from across the room. When we couldn't take it anymore, we tried to find a place where we could be alone--we ended up in a large school sized bathroom, but we couldn't be alone there either, as it was filled with children.

The dream was very presentational, lovely.

I am sorry Katie. Dreams can hit us in the gut. They feel so vivid and real. I think it is our subconsciousness trying to work things thru.

While i have been trying to decide if i should divorce my husband, i have had dream after dream of water and taking risks: (i am going down a waterfall; I am in a strange ship/submarine thing floating down a river; I take a swan dive off a trapeze ladder into a small pool. Risk, risk, risk.

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
In reply to: maybekatie
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 8:40pm
Thats tough.Ive had those kind of vivid dreams before.The hardest one was that I actually dreamt that we had a child ,which the idea in itself is ridiculous since the both of us are definately done having babies,LOL, but it was so vivid I couldnt shake it, to the point of actually missing the baby the whole morning after I awoke.Unfortunately most of my dreams are haunted by my MMs spouse.I actually know her fairly well or used to anyway, so I know what shes like as a person.I have dreams with her in them all the time.Usually shes either catching us together or actually with the 2 of us somewhere knowingly which is even weirder.Our semiconciousness works in mysterious ways.Just wish I could explain those dreams I have where Ive missed an entire semester of science class and I show up the last day hoping not to fail,LOL.

Emma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
In reply to: maybekatie
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 6:51am
"Just wish I could explain those dreams I have where Ive missed an entire semester of science class and I show up the last day hoping not to fail,LOL.

Emma"

LOL, that must be a universal dream! I have that one all the time! :)