DYING TO JUST LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Sat, 12-05-2009 - 4:42pm |
Hello All ~
I've not posted here in a while I've walked away, went back, walked away and found myself right back again and I am at the point where I just want to let go but HOW?????
I'm not asking "can't we be friends" or I miss him (sometiems of course I do) but I just want to let him go and I work with him so it isn't that easy. I find myself being quiet and to myself, in other words ignoring him, then I feel badly for it because I think to myself "we work together, he is very polite to me I shouldn't ignore him" so then, like yesterday, I send an email saying "I peaked my head in to say hi but you were already gone, hope you are having a nice day"......and now am mad at myself for even sending it, WHY CAN'T I JUST LET IT GO AND STOP CARING IF I AM NICE OR NOT?!?!?!?!?
I just want to stop thinking about him, wondering if HE misses me at all, wants me still, whatever, I just want to not care anymore.
Any input would be great, I'm just feeling very discouraged right now.

I too struggle with letting go. and being nice gets you nowhere. I have been nice, super nice. If you really want this to be over, really over, than you need not worry about being nice. U should have no contact. Mind you, I realize you work together, but you can limit that contact if you really want to. Y are you worried about being polite?
Do u want this to continue? I am a little confused my your message. What would it do if you knew if he missed you, thought about you? Wants you? I mean these are normal thoughts and questions. Very normal. But if you are trying to let go, then the answers should not matter....
I am no expert and I am new to the board. I am on day 2 of no contact. read my posts and you will know my situation, very complicated. I do know that in two days I am better off. I am hurting, but I know I would be hurting more if I continued to deal with him on any level.
Many affairs start at work, many women here have posted about affairs at work and getting over people they see on a regular basis. while difficult, it is still possible. There are things you can do to maintain little to know contact...
Dont go by his office, avoid that area, avoid his floor if you can, dont email him for any reason, I amsure there are people in your building who you do not even notice...make him one of them
Now dont think that I think this is easy or will happen overnight. But you have to start somewhere and then continue. U may have setbacks...thats ok, start again.
If you really want to let go, really want to, you gotta do somethings that may not be nice....and so what?
preoccupy yourself with updating your resume and sending it out?
I know the economy sucks but who knows what the next chapter of your life could be if you could have a fresh start elsewhere?
Remember lessons learned the hard way,
Lizzie
When you are focused on wondering if you are being nice to him, you are still in the relationship. I know that seems nuts, but by allowing yourself to think about it, your thoughts are still about him. Refocus on you.
LIGA,
To "let go" means you have to
~Iddy~
(((hugs))) sorry about the difficulty you aare having...all i can say to you..is that i have tried EVERYTHING..from being nice..to being a bit** ..everything but full on NC forever. and NOTHING has worked. If we alllow the door to be opened a TEEEENY bit...then they (or us) will find a way back inside the A. And i telll myself ...who cares if i'm nice..or not..or if i call him for answers..NOTHING i do or say will change the facts of the situation..he chose HER...and threw me out with the trash....the cold hard truth. It hurts like