Easter ... renewal
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| Fri, 03-25-2005 - 9:19am |
hi all,
i know it too early, i got a T appointment today but i was not able to sleep well last nite, my mind is wondering again ....
its Easter weekend for those who are of the Christina faith, im not religious but i believe that it means renewal , for me at least
so now its time for all of us to do the same, i am always very careful with my emotions during holidays, i have no experience with these holidays and to be honest i am envious to those who have family, i dont know why i feel like this all the time
even when i was in the service, other guys would always get letters and packages during the holidays and i have none so i always volunteer to do duty on those days do the ones with family can spend time with them
i guess i am still missing OW, missing the idea that she was my family , now i am my own family again, i wish someone adopted me when i was young but i dont know why no one did, i dont know why , i was a normal kid , did ok in school, i was very reserve thou, i never talked unless i was spoken to when i was young, even as a teenager, i worked after school
oh well, im rambling again, anyways, i wish everyone a good Easter weekend, i know there is someone out there that started all of this, God or whatever the name is, the prime mover, but we have free will and we are able to decide what we want to do with our lives
i take responsibility for my A, for all the pain and misery i felt
max
time to rebuild

Max-
Happy Easter to you as well. Sorry you are feeling down today. I hope you have friends where you are. Maybe you can get together with them this weekend. It's ok to miss OW. You are only human. Be patient. You have come so far. You are a survivor and everything will be OK.
SS
hi SS,
not realy feeling that sad, i think im just missing that experience, i can remember when i was in a foster home and when holiday comes, i feel so alienated from the whole thing, although i lived in homes with other kids also, i mean they were the children of my foster parents, it was hard for me to realy belong, even if they tried to make me feel like part of the family coz i know that i will have to move or leave again
i guess this is what scared me the most with OW, i fooled myself in thinking she was there permanently and i dont have to leave or move anymore, i want to hold on to her forever, my T told me this, im not sure if its true or not but i think my T is right, i realy have no idea what i want to want to do with my life right now, my therapist told me to just do the basic life activities, eat , sleep, work and pay my bills and taxes .... heheheheh
anyways, thanks for the reply, its comforting that there is someone out there, i am attached to this board, i used it to keep me sane
like Free said, think positive thoughts
max
:)
we may not be much but we can be your family until you figure things out! happy easter, happy spring, here's to many new, better things!!!
jen
Hello Max! I know what you are going thru and I know how hard it can be. Keep your head up-It will get better-it has to. How did you blind date go?
Tormented*
Max
I am sorry that your having a hard day being alone on special days does suck, I live about 8 hours from my nearest family members it's not fun doing the holydays alone.
Point your nose at next Christmas and make plans for something better.
So as the other poster asked HOW DID THE DATE GO ???
Free
hi all,
date went well, it was a double date actually but i enjoyed myself, meet a new friend, no expectations but she is single, the best thing is i have another date tomorrow nite with another woman
im on a roll !!!!
max
:)
Hot Damn go for it Max.
Free
Hi Max, Just wanted to wish you a Happy Holiday, it is what you make it. You could be surrounded by family and friends and still be unhappy, you could be by yourself and content.
Do something meaninful for yourself, think about what you could do for someone else. Giving service is the ultimate act of love and somehow when you are doing something for others you forget all about yourself.
Lastly, I think you are awesome and deserve all the best!
hey KC,
thanks, im trying to do volunteer work in my area on the weekends, im doing laundry today and try to figure out my taxes, later ill plant some plants i bought, i got some rosemary's and jasmine in need to plant, my tulips are bloominng already
u are right , it is what we make of it, alone or being with friends, i just get nostalgic all the time especially when i see families together, i want have the same experience also :)
my therapist told me that i am like a child, i want to do everything i want, but my circumstances wont allow me to do that, i always want to be in a family, since i was given up after birth i have no knowledge of any family, my T said that is realy what i want , i guess she is right, no wonder i cling to OW so much and myabe it is why i bend over so much just to be with her and for her togive me her time, no matter how small it was
anyways, its still cold here in the bay area,(SFO), i hope the sun comes out so i can do some gardening
have a good weekend, oh i have a date tonite also, i have this guilty feeling but i guess ill just go and eat and have fun
max