The easy way

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
The easy way
5
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:21am
Well, my MM has begun the NC by changing his cell #. And let me say, it's the best thing for both of us. I don't want that part of my life anymore. It brought me down to a place that I really didn't want to be. I'm so much better than that. I wanted to share that with you all. Even though it is best, and I am happy that the drama is gone, I do miss his sweetness. I went out on Friday, and saw his best friend. He said my MM doesn't love his wife, and doesn't care about me. To stay away. I guess that's the truth. I'm a good girl with alot going for me, and I just wanted to say YAHOO!! The support of this board has been great, and I've learned so much about people and I know that others make mistakes too. He did change his #, and if I really wanted to go searching, I could get to him. but I don't want him. I'm too good for any of it. And so are the rest of you. I want someone who wants just me, not me on the side. And we all deserve that. But all of us must get to that point on our own. I guess having him change his # is my esay way out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:29am
((((I guess having him change his # is my esay way out.)))))

Consider yourself lucky sweetie. My affair lasted almost 5 years, and I still have to work for him. I came to realize (took long enough) that if I could so easily disassociate my feelings from my "TRUE" self (and be part of something dishonerable and deceitful for so long), then I could reassociate myself with the person I used to be, just as easily. I just had to make that decision and stick with it. I've tried several times before, but this time was different. My feelings for xMM had drastically changed. I finally was able to step outside of the situation and see a weak, deceitful, lying jerk that anyone CAN hold a candle to. I was the enabler of this twisted relationship, so I had to be the one to disengage that ticking time bomb. Fortunately NO ONE ever found out about it, so the ONLY person I hurt was myself. But I am on the heal...

Take care, you'll be just fine.....


True

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:39pm
I do understand about missing his sweetness. My MM also had a sweet side. In truth, that side ended after about six months. When I would ask if he missed me, he'd say, I'm "hard" right now. Oh, I see, he "missed" me that way. All of his "sweet" talk alluded to sex. I realized then what was important to him. I wondered if he had a "sexual" addiction. It was all he talked about. He started to became very possessive of my time. He became very envious and jealous of my H. Our conversations were ridiculous and frustrating. We both had an agreement, when we first met--under no circumstance--would we ever end our marriage. Yet, he couldn't stand that I was married. I had grown weary of constantly explaining my schedule to him--why I could and could not call, and finally realized--geez--he doesn't trust me. Of course this made me wonder what it was he was hiding, but then again--what did it matter--we had an agreement. I guess honor among our lies and betrayal--was too much to ask. I ended it. I worried he would do or say something stupid, and we'd get found out. His risky behavior scared me. Listen to your MM's best friend--stay away. My only wish is that I would have "ended" it sooner--count your lucky stars. ~ifm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 1:47pm
"I guess honor among our lies and betrayal--was too much to ask"

This is a beauty of a statement! Best chuckle I've had in 2 days of missing my MM. Thanks a bunch. Ya know I too realize much of the "love chatter" and "blah blah" poop was all about the sex mostly. Men are wired so differently then women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 4:01pm
Thank you all for the encouragement. Even though it is my easy way out, I often sit and wander if he will call me, or pass by my home, or something. I hope this goes away. Even with a new man in my life. The sad thing is, even though the W found out, and she thinks we are over, which we are, there has to be someone else that he is seeing because that is just how he is. SO, this may sound harsh, but I came out on top. I'm the better person through all of this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: jlt242
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 4:13pm
Being on top is important to our self esteem. RIght now you are, so stay there. I was so tough last week, but I see this week going down hill. I am so thankful to the message board. When I read other messages it encourages me to stay strong. You are so much better than the life you were living. Good Luck. GL