the email is written i can't hit send

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
the email is written i can't hit send
2
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:25pm
Okay- i wrote the email to my OM ending it. it's over. I just can't bear myself to send it. We are supposed to do something tonight and i'm scared im going to chicken out and go. I've come a log way in the last couple of weeks and i need to do this. you see, my Om is not a jerk, he's in love with me and wants me all for himself. but i am not in love with him. Okay- i need wirds of encouragement. help me push send please, i need this to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 4:45pm
hi there!

i haven't been on the board much so i'm not familiar w/ your story. but here's my 2cents for whatever it's worth.

maybe you should sit down w/ a piece of paper and a pen. make out 2 columns.

Column A = Benefits of Sending Email

Column B = Cost of Sending Email

Next to each item, put a value from 1-10

Then add it up and see which one outweighs the other.

if you take it one step at a time, it'll be much more manageable. rather than look at it as do i see him or do i email him this letter. only if you decide not to send the email do you then have to worry about seeing him. just b/c you don't send the letter doesn't mean you necessarily have to see him tonight. does that make sense? sorry. there were a lot of negatives in that sentence. basically, it's a decision tree. are you familiar w/ statistics & decision tree analysis? in any event, that's what i do when i'm faced w/ a string of decisions. rather than have them all jumbled up into one big question, i break them down into smaller questions. and then i do a cost/benefit analysis for each one. it's a pain in the ass, but at the same time, when i attack the smaller questions, i sometimes don't even need to get to the later questions. which saves a lot of time at the end. and in terms of my own A, it saved me a lot of tears...

either way, best of luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 6:02pm

Words of encouragement: "time to tell the truth to yourself....and OM, too. "


You'll live through the pain of separating. And you'll enjoy living only one life again...above board at all times. It's like breathing after holding your breath for 2 minutes.....necessary and satisfying.


OM may not be a jerk, and for your sake I hope he really isn't, however, you're not fully available and you have made a choice to end the affair.


Choices have consequences. A door closes and another one opens up.


Step in with both eyes open......


You'll be great......