emotional affair
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emotional affair
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 8:09am |
Hi all I was here yesterday. Looking for support, I'm tring not to contact OM. mind you we havent even had sex. But I think of him constantly. I want to email him so bad but I'm not going to. I think I think If I don't email him maybe he will email me wondering whats up. Its bad enough I have to work with him on Fri and Sat. And once I see him I will turn to mush. What s really hard is knowing he feels something for me. But He wont act on it becaues I'm married.
This all started out as a silly crush last year in the summer. I wondered if I could attract this much younger man and I did. We acknowledged that we have the same feelings for one another. Now all I think of is him. I know I have to give this up. but its so hard. He is in his last year of college and he will leave this job, for something better and when he does i need to be prepared. I will be crushed.
I have a wonderful husband and 2 kids. But my feelings have changed for hubby. ever since our last child was born. I've been struggling with not wanting him for last 8 yrs. i don't want hubby to touch me majority of the time. Sex is once a week and i have to workupto it. I thought my sex drive had gone. and it was all me. But now all I think about is wanting this other man. I want him and he knows it. I just need to vent cause I want to email him so bad. I never thought I would get so hung up on him.
This all started out as a silly crush last year in the summer. I wondered if I could attract this much younger man and I did. We acknowledged that we have the same feelings for one another. Now all I think of is him. I know I have to give this up. but its so hard. He is in his last year of college and he will leave this job, for something better and when he does i need to be prepared. I will be crushed.
I have a wonderful husband and 2 kids. But my feelings have changed for hubby. ever since our last child was born. I've been struggling with not wanting him for last 8 yrs. i don't want hubby to touch me majority of the time. Sex is once a week and i have to workupto it. I thought my sex drive had gone. and it was all me. But now all I think about is wanting this other man. I want him and he knows it. I just need to vent cause I want to email him so bad. I never thought I would get so hung up on him.

Please listen to this! (I pulled it from another post)
"I wanted him like no other man ever but it was not worth it. It would have been lovely had we never acted on our desire and he would have remained my dream man forever. I realized that part of being a grown up is that you don't get everything you want and mastery of emotions is a big step in maturity. I have a long journey ahead of me but I am learning everyday and everyday I am getting stronger and emotionally further away from the addiction that once weakened me more than what I knew was possible."
Also a good quote - "Smart people learn from their mistakes. Smarter people learn from other's mistakes".
We know it's the hardest thing that you'll ever have to do - addiction is a strong thing to fight off. I myself had to give in before realizing I can't do this! It's not who I am.
Good luck.
Please be very careful. I was in the same situation and the SECOND you act on it, things change. You channel energies away from your family and marriage, you become emotionally attached, and you become addicted to the high. Please learn from my mistakes. I am healing, finally, but 5 months of nervous panic at work (whether we were on or off) and it's still not easy to walk down the hall or wait for the elevator never knowing if he'll be there. I distanced myself from my husband and our marital problems, which might sound good now, but it doesn't fix anything. It makes things worse. I can't look my mother in the face when she asks me what's been on my mind. I can't look my boss in the eye when she asks me to get with XOM on a project. I missed out on some major life experiences because they were overshadowed by either passionate thoughts of him or pain he caused. So not worth it. I promise.
Lily
Its really hurts cause I never have felt him (OM) or kissed him, or been held by him. although I know he would very much like too. I'm so confused as to what i want right now. I hate not knowing what all that would have been like.
Lily
I am usually a lurker on the boards, but I have been exactly where you are right now. I've been married for 13 years and the last two have been bad. We stopped talking to each other and drifted apart. In Decemeber I was re-introduced to an old friend who was younger than me and man was he hot. He was cute, sexy, funny, a great flirt, and an old friend. I too wondered if this old married lady w/ 2 kids could ever attract a man like this. When he started showing interest in being more than friends, it was so nice to feel wanted and sexy and alive, that I caved. It was the worst mistake I ever made!!!! We were together just once-- I drove 6 hours to see him. I realized right away that I would never fit into his world, but I wanted so badly to be young and sexy agian ( i'm only 32). After that weekend, I called him a few times and he was short with me. He was suposed to come home the next weekend ( I'm friends w/ his family). He did, but he never called. I have had no contact with him since June. I've tried a couple times to email..but he never responded. Not only have I lost a friend, but I also lost my self respect along the way. I don't contact his family anymore--it's too painful. It's not worth what you will loose to gain a few minutes of what you think will be joy. My H found out about the affair in an email I had written to a friend, so not only have I hurt myself, I have destroyed him as well. Even though things were not good between us, he never deserved this. Please know that the grass is not greener on the other side---it's dead and brown. Save yourself from a lot of pain and heartache.
this old lady is 41 and he is just 21. Last year in college and eventually he will quit his job for something better. thats why I know I have to let go now.
is your relationship geting better with your husband now??