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|Thu, 08-16-2012 - 6:26pm|
I have a list today, today would be my 37th anniversary; my youngest (24) left for school across the country this morning, it's been 2 weeks today since contact with xap and something exciting is that I leave on an awesome vacation 2 weeks from today.
Pretty bizarre feelings today, this morning I really wanted to talk to xH, I did text "have a good day" and he texted back "you too, thinking about the date". I'm feeling the guilt for ending our marriage, even though I do think it was best, I just regret the way it happened (in the midst of A fog) Part of me wants to apologize, but I don't want to hurt him more by telling the truth. I just need to let it go.
This afternoon, I want to talk to xap, it's been a habit for so long, anytime things are happening we talked. I want to know how he's doing too. I know,,, I'm not going too, so I'm here.
I'm on a strict food plan right now, it's working well and I'm back in my smaller clothes, but I told a coworker that I have nothing for comfort, can't eat what I want and I can't talk to who I want. (but I do like the feel of smaller clothes!)
Thankfully work was busy today and the weather is decent, I may go for a walk.