"Enchanted"--Birdsong's inadvertent film review.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
"Enchanted"--Birdsong's inadvertent film review.
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 12:37pm

I have to get this down today, because I think some of you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Some of you saw my post yesterday and know that it wasn't a very good day for me, xAPwise. Tough session at the T's office. Feeling like I'm stuck. Very sad last night. Daughter suggested we watch a movie. She thought "Enchanted" would amuse me.

In case you haven't seen it, "Enchanted" is basically about a fairy-tale princess (in the complete Disney cartoon mode) who gets expelled into New York City and real life. Her cartoon prince tries to save her by following her into real life. End of story: Princess meets real-life guy and falls in love with him; prince meets real-life guy's GF and takes her back to Cartoon Land with him.

If you've seen some of my posts, you know that my daughter was taking kind of a big chance with this film. I am not a big fan of Disney. I am a cynical sarcastic beeyatch who has always fought sentimentality of all kinds.

I recently realized, in a giant revelation, that a very large part of xAP's attraction for me was the romantic hearts-and-flowers nature of our relationship. Something an A is exquisitely, beautifully structured to provide. Suddenly I was having fantasies of beaches and hotel rooms and brides and grooms on wedding cakes and soulmates. And of course this was all happening in secret, so I didn't have to expose these feelings to the people who really know me, who would probably have (after laughing their heads off) told me what I was getting sucked into.

At least now I know (because of my T, and because of being in NC for a while and getting some of its consolation prizes, like understanding your own motivations a little better) that there is a romantic fluffery part of me that I have put cynical armor around for many years to protect. I believe xAP found that part of me and connected with it... rather spectacularly.

Long story short, we watched the film. At the end, the two couples go off, one to La La Land, the other to real life. My husband, by now, had joined us and watched most of it.

Went to bed afterwards. So I'm lying in bed, after this rather long day (yes, my H knows I'm in T, doesn't really know why, is worried it's about him, I try not to say much about it, but I think the emotions stirred up by the session yesterday were pretty close to the surface). I'm thinking about the stupid movie. Which I really did think was mostly stupid. All of a sudden I start crying uncontrollably. Trying not to, but not really caring. I am realizing that I have to let my fairy tale prince go back to where he belongs... in fantasyland. That my real-life H is really the one I chose. The practical guy who helped me plant out 50 strawberry plants in the garden the other day. The one who built a stone wall with me. The one who doesn't mind getting the disgusting "rat" out of the bathtub drain (drains gross me out). The one who will go camping with me and doesn't mind getting dirty.

'Cause that's who I am. Even if there is a romantic core in there.

God, I had the worst time trying to explain to my H why I was lying in bed sobbing over a stupid frikkin' movie. I couldn't, of course, tell him the real reason for this revelation. I could explain how the two of us had never been a particularly romantic couple. He said, Honey, I'm sorry I'm not the kind of guy who brings you flowers. You know the cats would knock them off the counter if I did. I said, I know. And you know

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Bird. Your post made me cry. I can feel your thoughts, pain ... I don't think it's too late for flowers and romance! Your H sounds great, he would certainly step up!

I'm sure the cry was cathartic. I have been turning my radio off most car rides, as every song makes me bawl lately.

I think you're doing great, Bird.

PS: I've seen the movie. It is mostly stupid ; )).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Bird! Your post prior to this was so honest and the responses you received so beautiful I felt like it could go in the HL. Again today you have hit a nerve with me. I understand completely what you are saying and I think it has caused even more fog to lift for you and helped to remind me of the facts as well. I have been on vacation all this week and x has been very prominent on my mind. I keep trying to just accept him as a thought and move on with my day. Last night I had a very intense dream about him and he has been front and center while my dear H is busy packing the van and kids to drive home. Quite honestly I was feeling like an a$$ for this. Reading your lines about the flowers reminded me of what I have said when I am a little more clear...am I going to f up tons of people so I can go on a few motorcycle rides?(My equivolent to your flowers). Because in the end I would be left with a sh*tty mess on my hands but oh look! I get to sit on the back of a bike once in awhile. My H is never going to get a tattoo or a motorcycle, but his steadiness and love for me and our family he surely has already...I need to remember that more, so ty. And yes Bird, those coral rings are very romantic. I love you dearly Bird, you are beautiful and honest and the progress you keep making is fantastic. Thank you for sharing.
Hopeful xo
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wow. What an amazing, wonderful post Bird. Thank you for sharing. And for what its worth, I think that planting strawberries with a man who has loved you for more than thirty years is about the most romantic thing I can imagine :)

Kat xx