"Enchanted"--Birdsong's inadvertent film review.
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|Fri, 04-13-2012 - 12:37pm|
I have to get this down today, because I think some of you will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Some of you saw my post yesterday and know that it wasn't a very good day for me, xAPwise. Tough session at the T's office. Feeling like I'm stuck. Very sad last night. Daughter suggested we watch a movie. She thought "Enchanted" would amuse me.
In case you haven't seen it, "Enchanted" is basically about a fairy-tale princess (in the complete Disney cartoon mode) who gets expelled into New York City and real life. Her cartoon prince tries to save her by following her into real life. End of story: Princess meets real-life guy and falls in love with him; prince meets real-life guy's GF and takes her back to Cartoon Land with him.
If you've seen some of my posts, you know that my daughter was taking kind of a big chance with this film. I am not a big fan of Disney. I am a cynical sarcastic beeyatch who has always fought sentimentality of all kinds.
I recently realized, in a giant revelation, that a very large part of xAP's attraction for me was the romantic hearts-and-flowers nature of our relationship. Something an A is exquisitely, beautifully structured to provide. Suddenly I was having fantasies of beaches and hotel rooms and brides and grooms on wedding cakes and soulmates. And of course this was all happening in secret, so I didn't have to expose these feelings to the people who really know me, who would probably have (after laughing their heads off) told me what I was getting sucked into.
At least now I know (because of my T, and because of being in NC for a while and getting some of its consolation prizes, like understanding your own motivations a little better) that there is a romantic fluffery part of me that I have put cynical armor around for many years to protect. I believe xAP found that part of me and connected with it... rather spectacularly.
Long story short, we watched the film. At the end, the two couples go off, one to La La Land, the other to real life. My husband, by now, had joined us and watched most of it.
Went to bed afterwards. So I'm lying in bed, after this rather long day (yes, my H knows I'm in T, doesn't really know why, is worried it's about him, I try not to say much about it, but I think the emotions stirred up by the session yesterday were pretty close to the surface). I'm thinking about the stupid movie. Which I really did think was mostly stupid. All of a sudden I start crying uncontrollably. Trying not to, but not really caring. I am realizing that I have to let my fairy tale prince go back to where he belongs... in fantasyland. That my real-life H is really the one I chose. The practical guy who helped me plant out 50 strawberry plants in the garden the other day. The one who built a stone wall with me. The one who doesn't mind getting the disgusting "rat" out of the bathtub drain (drains gross me out). The one who will go camping with me and doesn't mind getting dirty.
'Cause that's who I am. Even if there is a romantic core in there.
God, I had the worst time trying to explain to my H why I was lying in bed sobbing over a stupid frikkin' movie. I couldn't, of course, tell him the real reason for this revelation. I could explain how the two of us had never been a particularly romantic couple. He said, Honey, I'm sorry I'm not the kind of guy who brings you flowers. You know the cats would knock them off the counter if I did. I said, I know. And you know