The end of an affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
The end of an affair?
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:34pm
My story is very long, but I'll make it short for now . I met someone last year in Spetmeber, but we did not get involvved till October. Well we had been together for a few months till he told me he was married. I never saw him wear a ring at all. Well we were together till may 2004. He stopped calling me and showed up around may 5th whe I was in the hospital really sick and that was the first time I saw his ring! well I got upset and said I hope that God punishes him for how he has treated me and what he has done. Well next hing I know , afew days later, his wife calls me. Anyhow then she shows up at my parent's house(cause I live there temporarily) with her mother. well the whole problem I have is that I am pregnant. I became pregnant in March and I was happy to tell him so.because I love him.well He obviously was not happy. He would tell me things like "well if, i weren't married this would be great," "I do care for you and love you, but you know this situation is not good." I felt hurt. I feel hurt because well I never told his wife anything, he told her everything and made me look bad to boot. He told her that I was out to get him even as far as saying I went to his house to throw eggs and hat I was nuts. I feel so hurt that he would make me look so bad with lies. i was in thehospital on that day may 5th due to severe vomiting with this pregnancy. many times he asked for an abortion saying and then saying things such as maybe I could let him adopt this baby so taht he and his wife could raise it, I coulnd't believe him! This was before he told her. Well we both go to the same school and have the same circle of friends in a wy, but i could not attend this semester for being too sick with this pregnancy. he does call me to see how I am or how the baby is. As a matter of fact I told him last week that I found out it's girl and he goes with indifference "oh congratulations." I mean this hurts specially since I am pregnant and well I never believed in abortion and This pregnancy was ovioulsy not planned, but I felt to terminate would not make me feel any better of the situation. So here i am 6 1/2 months pregnant and i accepted the pregnancy, but I feel miserable cause he doens't care to call or anything. I wonder why he did what he did and why he hates me so. I asked him that about a week ago when i called his cell with a diffferent number and he just hung up on me! I finally got to speak with him about paternity issues at the being of July after threatening to go to his job to speak to him. He goes with a difiant tone of voice "what can i help you with" I asked if he was going to pay for paternity since he was the one requesting it supposedly to put this baby on his meical insurance. Well he asked if I could do the testing now and I said "well if oyu have 900 bucks to spare sure" adn he goes " no cause I am going through a divorce" well Another fact he has cheated on his wife at least 5 times before me during 17 years of marriage, I found out. I suppose I should not havebelieved him telling me all those sweet things. I feel hurt and betrayed by the way he is acting. Can someone here help me through this with any advice, I mean people tell me not to care what he thinks or says, he isn't/ hasn't been nice to me. Another thing He is almost 20 years older than me!I jsut wish he could tell me look it's over like an adult and leave it at that. i feel no closure.


Ro.