End of a rocky road
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End of a rocky road
| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 2:03pm |
The long story starts a year and a half ago. I am involved with a MM who has been married 7 years. He has two young daughters. It started innocent enough. I never thought it would end up in a sexual relationship, since I was a virgin when I met him. We have had rough spots where he didnt talk to me for a week or so, "to get his head straight" we always ended up back together and being even stronger. Now I have endured a lot from this man. I have had to learn to be the mistress and not be taken out on dates, and kept inside. He has been seperated from his wife for about 5 months. During the first two months, he slept with someone else. And claims it will never happen again, because we had an argument and he thought our relationship was over. We survived that, and I have tried to overcome my insecurities and trust him. It is very hard, and I find myself questioning his every move. I believe that is what has driven him to our current situation. He has told me that our arguments make him feel uncomfortable, because I get violent, and he doesnt want that anymore. He also says he wants to be able to get a divorce lawyer and start the paperwork. He says that with me he can not focus on his children. However, this is not consistent with his actions recently. He has been out 3 drinking till the wee hours more than normal this past week. We had planned a trip out of town and now he said he had some family buisness to take care of. When I call he doenst answer and I dont believe that this family issue is the truth. He tries to avoid me, and will not share his feelings or thoughts with me. He is the type to shut you out, rather then tell you his true emotions. He always just says its not in his personality. I am confused as to wether we will patch this up again, or if the summer bug has gotten him and now he wants to be free of everyone. I would want him to just be up front with me, instead of telling me that I have all these problems that he cant live with. I have done so much to transform myself into what his ever changing needs are. I feel that I can not be what he wants now, since he is trying to be single. I need help with letting him go, and seeing him interact with others. I need to understand why I have filled the need for him, and now am no longer useful.
