ended affair w/ married man this morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
ended affair w/ married man this morning
8
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:01pm
I don't know if you could actually call it an affair, we never did anything, not even kiss. The thing is I'm married and I met the MM 5 months ago. We felt instant attraction. It felt great to feel wanted, my husband never made me feel that way. I would visit this guy at work maybe twice a month and talked to him almost everyday. We really got to know each other. We were both having problems in our marriage. But, I was getting to the point where I was REALLY starting to fall for him, and some people encouraged me to end it because I would only get hurt in the end. So, I ended it this morning before anything happened and I got in to deep. I will try and work things out with my husband (he doesn't know anything, and he won't). I'm kind of glad I did it, but I feel so bad, and heartbroken. I will NOT go back to him, but I can't get him out of my mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:14pm
HI Reb

You have good friends be glad that you listened to them they did you a big favor.

I will get better if you keep NO CONTACT with this MM, believe me when I tell you the good feelings you have when you start the affair are replaced by a lot of real bad stuff that you do not need in your life.

Keep busy focus on you and your family, try to get hubby to agree to MC or other help for the BOTH of you.

It is a long and at times hard climb out of this but it is worth it and it does get better in time.

Read lost here and post as much as you need, venting can help but above all things stay NO CONTACT with the other man.

GOOD LUCK

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:25pm
Hey thanks, I'm trying to make things better with my husband. To him, there is nothing wrong in our marriage. He has no idea about the MM. By the way the "friends" that helped are people like you, who I don't even know but are glad ya'll are around. Anyway we went to a marriage class put together by a catholic church a week before we got married and if there is one thing I remember from it, is that they said to never tell your spouse if you had an affair, and I'm defenitely taking that advice now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 4:27pm
(((Cajun))) You are doing the right thing by stopping things before they go too far. This board will definitely be helpful to you. Read some of the other posts, and post your feelings/thoughts/comments if you feel comfortable doing so. Everyone here is so helpful and supportive.

You *will* get through this. I know it must seem so hard right now, but the pain will fade. Take 1 day at a time, and think of each day of no contact is one more step towards freedom and healing. I also admire that you are making an effort to work on things with H. I am trying to the same thing with my H. I feel badly that I let things get so bad that the A happened, but I can't dwell on that now, I can just move forward.

Let us know how you are doing, and stay strong! We are here for you!!!

((hugs))

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 5:38pm
Congrats on ending it before things got even more involved! Because the pain and confusion only gets worse and I think it is harder to end and get over after kissing and IC. Congrats and each day will get a little bit easier! I wish I had ended my A before things got complicated!!!sjnrr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 7:49pm
Hey Cajun, I'm glad to see you on this board now. Yes, it was an affair. It doesn't matter if there was no physical contact.

Stick around and stay strong!! You're doing the right thing!

Best of luck!!!

~Love

Love
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 2:20pm
Hi everybody! To let those know woever left a post for me. I am doing good. Me and hubby went on atrip this weekend out of state, and we had sooooo much FUN!!! I never once thought about the MM except the only thing that was hard that he kept popping up in my mind ONLY because my hubby's nephew (we went visit my husband's family) has the same name as the MM. So every time some one called him I heard that name. But I kept cool I didn't think abou HIM. I would just block it out and start talking to some one, anything to keep my mind off him. Now that I'm home, alone while my husband's at work, where I have a chance to talk to MM. I'm not I can easily pick up the phone and call, but if I stay on the computer and talk to ya'll I can't use the phone. And since I'm on the computer I can still e-mail him but everytime I think about it I just take a deep breath and tell myself NO! It's only been over the weekend. I'll just walk away from the computer and do some thing to take my mind off him, then I'll come back and check my posts and write back to ya'll. But I'm doing good, better than I thought. But don't forget about me, I really enjoy talkin to ya'll. Thanx. write back. I'll keep in touch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 5:41pm
HI Reb

It sounds like you have a good plan and your working it well.

Just keep it up for a few weeks and I think for you the worse will be over if you keep total NO CONTACT, be were though 1 contact can put you right back to square one, so hang in there and keep up the good work.

I hope you and hubby will invest in each other daily that will help a lot more then you may think to help reconnect and reorder your priorities.

See ya later

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:20pm
Hi C.R.,

Your are SO SMART to get out before you got too far in! I can tel you from experience - I had warnings also but I just kept slipping and got to point of no return. I wish I had done it your way. It's easier to stay out than to get out.

Still struggling,

Susie