ended after 1 time

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2009
ended after 1 time
14
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 8:37pm

Hi, y'all,


After all the hype i went thru for months and months, i finally got together with my AP.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 8:44am

Marie,


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   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2009
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 6:47pm

ALL,


Thanks for sharing and your incredible stories of pain and survival.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 8:25pm

Hello,

I think you ask a question we have all wrestled with. If my H hadn't found out I am not sure if I would have told him. I think I would have because my lying to him was harmful to his mental health (never mind my own). I wouldn't want him to feel like he was going crazy, or was being paranoid - I wouldn't have wanted him to live with feeling insecure and needy, when I would know it was my actions creating those feelings for him. It's a very personal decision. One thing I do know, is that I wouldn't have shared the A with him to ease my guilt - if he wasn't suspicious or wasn't doubting himself (feeling paranoid, anxious etc...), I wouldn't have shared it because I would have strongly felt it was my burden to carry - and my issues to work on. I am not someone who uses people- up, takes them for granted and moves on ... I am a woman who made a terrible mistake at a time when I lacked the strength and integrity to make better choices, and I miss my relationship with my H each and every moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 4:30am

Dear Flylady,

I think we all thought we could just have "fun" and to hell with the consequences. I don't think anyone thought of the consequences before getting into an A. Because you don't know what the consequences will be... not only for the people around you, but also for yourself.

I am glad you are getting out of the A. I know it hurts...

I have told my H about the A, but I didn't tell him with whom it was.
H doesn't believe I had an A.

Hugs!
Htgo

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