Ended A, but feelings linger

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009
Ended A, but feelings linger
3
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 3:52pm

This is just a vent, really.


My A was short lived, though I've been friends with my AP for 20 years. His W recently left him for the second time. She's having her own A. My H and I are friends with his W and him. It makes it more complicated and difficult. I made it my NY's resolution to never sleep with him again and so far, so good. I've been in three social situations since and

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 5:10pm

SM,


Welcome to our community and even though you have ended your affair, ,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 3:07am

Hi SM,


Welcome to EAS.


It’s going to take awhile for those pesky feelings to go away. NC is the way to allow some time and distance to allow your reality barometer to kick in.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 3:51pm

Thanks for the advice. I did read the LC at work and I think I've been doing a lot of that. I can't really limit my contact too much because 1. my H would wonder why we're cutting our friends off, and 2. I work with his exW and we are in the same dept so I see her daily. However, they've filed for divorce so I'm thinking we're going to be picking sides as it is. She has her own AP and is in the middle of that drama as I speak.


I have made no eye contact, dress down at get togethers (I wear a turtleneck sweater or something similar, and jeans), sit on the opposite side of the table from him, sometimes completely ignore him when he speaks to me pretending not to hear him, and when he made that comment about my laugh, I just looked the other way and started a conversation with someone else at the table. I think I'm doing pretty well, it's just whats in my head that really bothers me. I am worried that he'll start contacting me again once he's hard up for sex. I am thinking of