Ended it and ok with it but not sure what to do about work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Ended it and ok with it but not sure what to do about work?
10
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 12:04pm

Hello,

I am new here and have lurked the past few days. Reading everyone's posts has given me the courage and smarts to finally end my 8 month A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Hello and welcome! ((HUGS!))

While I can't offer much advice on the work situation (though, I will point you to the healing library and there is threads on maintaining 'low contact, or LC, when it comes to work situations that cannot be avoided). While you're down there, read all you can! You've come to the right place to get back on track and take care of you. It's going to be a tough time, the first few weeks were the worst (I found, I think many others have too).
Read, read, read and post when you can. Hopefully others who have had to deal with the work issue will chime in soon and offer you more advice there.
Hugs!
----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009

Dishgal,

Welcome to our community. I would like to answer your questions because I still work with my Xmm.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

Hi Dish, although I cannot offer you any advice on LC either (I do not work with xAP), but I just wanted to welcome you to EAS.

I'm sure the othe wise ladies and gents will chime in soon and give you all the advise that you need.

In the meantime, read in the healing library.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Welcome DG. You have found a great community full of loving and supportive women and men who will help you during this ending. We all know the pain. No one is immune from it. Like the others mentioned, read as much as you can in the HL. I also found that it helped me greatly to post my emotions and to get all the care and support of my fellow EASers. Every day will bring you more clarity. I promise.

Alwayst
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2011
I am going through a similar situation. He is my boss and he ended it last week or acutally asked for a break. Just to be friends and just see, which I see as the end. It's horrible, its like I know its for the best, but I am so scared of losing him. Yet, I hate him for doing this to me, and I hate myself for showing him that I am scared. I think you should be strong, don't change jobs, and work through it. It's hard but why should you change your life for him. Don't you wish they would suffer too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010

Thank you all for your kind words of support and advice. Yes I will keep reading in HL. He did text me about work only but I only responded with one word answers. I will not respond to other texts.

As for leaving my job, he is not the only reason I want to. I am not happy in my current position and have been looking elsewhere before this all came to ahead. I am up for a promotion and should find out this week if I get it. If I do I will stay with my company just working for a different division and not have to see my xAP.

It is very painful and I don't want to have to see him. I did fall hard for him and we had a wonderful friendship for 2 yrs b/f this PA started. I am so angry with myself for letting this happen to me. I miss my friend,but I know I would miss myself more (b./c I was turning into someone else) I also can't loose my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010

Dishgal...welcome to EAS...the support you will find here is amazing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008

Hi Dish,

You’ve received lots of support and Iddy has answered your questions.

I just wanted to do a wave by and welcome you to the community.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
May see him tomorrow during a territory visit. I'm very emotional & nervous. Wish me luck...so scared but know I have to face it. It's a consequence of my irresponsible choice :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010

Dishgal