Ended It -no what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2009
Ended It -no what?
4
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 5:42pm

For the past week and a half about, I have had NC. -avoided phone calls-picked up phone and put it down. Then yesterday he called and I ended it offically, he wanted to know if we could meet up, I said no I was at work, and he said well we will have to reschedule , I told him I dont think that is possbible I can't do this anymore, both of our lives are too crazy and I have a lot to focus on. I let XAP know that my heart and emotions could no longer handle the stress, the secrecey to meet up and then sometimes it doesnt even work out. All the sneaking around and plannin was consuming my life and taking my focus off the necesary, also the empty feeling I felt when he left.He said he was fine with how the situation was that it was a unique situation and that all that stuff comes with the territory. I told him I have been wanting to do this for a while but couldnt bring myself to muster up the courage. He told me he knows I have more important things to worry about, and to call him if I ever want to hang out. I wished him the best and told him I hope he can work on his home life.I got off the phone and felt liberated that I was able to have the strenght to stand up for what I knew was right, but at the same time I am saddened. I feel that all the haertache I suffered thru out the affair is now replaced with new sadness. Maybe I wanted him to fight for me , actually I know I did, and he just said he understands my decision. He didnt try to sway me otherwise, and that hurts me , that he can just let me go that quickly. At the moment I am sad at times, feel relief at some times, and overall just dont know how I feel. So one hurdle over, now I just have to keep NC and reassure myself I made the right decision.


*Blessed Be*

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 1:33pm

Hi goddess and welcome to EAS,

Congratulations on ending your affair. Let me start off by saying that despite what your xAP says, yours is far from a unique situation, we've all been there sweetie. The highs, lows, the empty feeling after the encounter.

I admire your strength for recognizing how much this was hurting you physically and mentally, and putting yourself first by making the right decision for YOU. The first weeks can be tough as we adjust to our new life without the A and go through the grieving process... but I promise you will feel so much happier down the road. You are WORTH it. You made the RIGHT choice by choosing not to live with darkness and deception.

Any time you feel like you didn't make the right choice, please come here, read, read, read and post... we're here for you :)

big hugs!!

trixie xo



"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 1:04pm
Hi GS,

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 2:01pm

Good for you!!

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 3:04pm

goddess:


yet another welcoming post to a newbie. and i can honestly say that i can tell you that they say *anything* to keep things in the status quo- just as energy posted.

CL-Lovely Starr

"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h